| A Moment of Epiphany So-eun Yoon
Getting out of one's comfort zone is always an intimidating experience. Nevertheless, as chicks hatch out of eggs, it is also a mandatory and courageous act. My life up to now has been warm from genial attention from others and nourished by the support of my family, just like how a chick would have felt in its little, serene egg. However, when faced with a challenge, I constantly failed to deviate from my comfort zone, suffering from a deep slump and growing pains of realizing that I had fear of change and the unknown. My goal for 2014 is to hatch out of my own egg.
Last year, the start of college was a new challenge for me as I was used to feeling a sense of belonging to my high school life of endless tight schedules. Trusting that passing the college entrance exam would open me the doors to Utopia, I had rigorously followed the three-year long-range plan my school had set up for me, feeling naively secure about my future. However, after entering university, I realized that college was where I was responsible for making all of my decisions without anyone giving me directions on what to do. Frustrated by the sudden loss of a dominant ruler in my life, I spent a lot of my time in vain, seeking for ways to find my true identity.
However, they say in times of crisis, the most shrewd and ingenious thoughts beset the mind. After the acknowledgement that I had to start leading my own life, I started out from a step by establishing a goal for this year. In order to hatch out of my egg, I developed a goal to apply for an exchange student program where I could spend a semester in a foreign country, being in charge of everything completely on my own. Living alone overseas would definitely offer me the best opportunities to diverge from my comfort zone and to overcome my fears of trying out for something new. Thus, during the two months of last year's winter vacation, I spent hours in the library studying for the TOEFL exam since meeting the standards is one of the essential qualifications for application.
Till now, I have declined all challenges if they were a matter utterly new to me. I, however, have learned that in order for a truly good change to happen, resisting convention is needed. After going through a crisis last year, I have reached an epiphany. "Motivate yourself and search for a bigger goal."
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Saturday, March 15, 2014
So-eun Yoon/ Assignment no.1/ Tuesday 11AM
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To. So-eun Yoon / From. Daewon Shin / Assignment no.1
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is that you used decent metaphor as a hook and expressed how you felt likening your life before to being in an egg.
2. Your main point seems to be that you has been trying to overcome the challenges you've newly faced and the goal for this year for you is to get ready to completely hatch out of an egg, in your case, to go abroad.
3.The sentence I found out powerful is "Motivate yourself and search for a bigger goal." I have no idea if it's from you or someone else, but I myself also have a goal I haven't tried yet to reach for and that sentence motivated me and said it's time for me to take actual action.
4.One this unclear to me in your writing is the reason why you wrote the last sentence. Even though it motivated me, it doesn't seem that much to represent your main point because you have tried to change yourself for you inevitably faced them, not because you motivated yourself.
5.It would be better if you put some lines between the last two sentences to make the conclusion more smooth. In terms of organic, the last sentence seems to have come out of bule, so it would be clearer if you tighten the relations among the sentences in the conclusion by writing some more lines.
Thank you