Green Spirits
If your favorite color is green and you also enjoy drinking alcohol, then you will definitely enjoy all the festivals of Saint Patrick’s Day. Saint Patrick’s Day is on March 17th and it was originally celebrated for commemorating the death of Saint Patrick, a praised Christian missionary and bishop during the 5th century in Ireland. However, despite the religious aspects of the holiday, it is now celebrated all around the world. I would like to talk about the one in New York City where the largest parade is held to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day.
The date goes back to March 17th, 1762 when an Irish immigrant, John Marshall celebrated Saint Patrick’s Day at his home in New York. Other Irish immigrants had started to celebrate the holiday. As Irish patriotism grew throughout the city, people began marching down the streets of Manhattan. This eventually became not only the largest parade in the United States, but one of the largest in the world.
The first thing you should be aware of when celebrating this holiday in New York is that you should wear one green-colored clothing – or at least have a green accessory like a headband. It would be awesome if everything on you is green. The color green has first been used as the green flag for the Irish Catholic Confederation in the 1640s. This led to the wearing of green ribbons and shamrocks on Saint Patrick's Day since at least the 1680s. With such history, wearing the color green grew out as a norm on Saint Patrick’s Day.
After getting ready for the holiday by having something green on yourself, then you should go out and join the parade. The parade marches along the 5th avenue in Manhattan. Around 150,000 people from different groups including bands, cultural, social and political groups participate in the parade annually. It is now the largest one in the world. If you don’t want to march down 1.5 miles down the avenue, you can just watch the parade and feel the green spirit.
You will get thirsty after enjoying the parade and its vigorous spirits. Now it is time for you to enjoy the Irish pubs in the city. You can drink artificially colored green beer at the pubs. Stout beer originally brewed by the company Guinness in Ireland is also popular. Sharing cultural backgrounds with the Irish people will also be a precious moment as well. Saint Patrick’s Day is not only a religious day, but it is a big cultural festival in New York. I believe different people from various countries enjoying the Irish spirit together is a true global gathering.
Hello Do Hee! I've heard about Saint Patrick's Day but never actually knew what kind of things people do to celebrate it. Thanks to you, I know all about Saint Patrick's Day now! Your essay was interesting :D I am leaving some comments!
ReplyDelete1. The thesis statement is included in the essay: I would like to talk about the one in New York City where the largest parade is held to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day.
2. The background information is that Saint Patrick's Day, a big festival held on March 17th, used to be celebrated to pay tribute to Saint Patrick who was a Christian missionary and bishop. Now it is celebrated all around the world with alcohol and green spirits.
3. Each paragraph presents a different part of the process.
4. They are organized in a logical sequence: first be aware that you have to wear green, enjoy the parade, and get drunk at pubs.
5. The body paragraphs give sufficient details.
6. The conclusion is an evauation but it is included in the last body paragraph. Heading to pubs to drink colored green beer is the last part of the process so I think the essay would be more coherent if you take the conclusion out and make a new paragraph.
To. Do Hee Kim From. Daewon Shin
ReplyDelete1. I think your introduction does not have a thesis statement that identifies the process, but it is just shows what St.Patrick's day is and what you are going to talk about in your writing.
2. There are a lot of background information in your introductory paragraph like
when it takes place and its origin.
3. Your first body paragraphs does not present any process, but second, third body paragraphs and the conclusion do. I think a part about after parade should be put in the body paragraphs.
4. Your writing makes a logical sequence. It starts from what people should know to enjoy the parade and ends up with what people do after the parade.
5. Body paragraphs have a lot of facts, definitions, and details. Most information in each paragraph has exact number, so it makes info more detailed. However, you stated it was the largest parade in the world, so readers might want to get more description about it.
6. You concluded your writing by evaluating its religious and cultural meaning, but it would have been better if you had given more information presenting the exact number like you did in the body paragraphs.
Thank you
2nd draft 201100361 Do Hee Kim
ReplyDeleteThe Greenest Day
The date goes back to March 17th, 1762 when an Irish immigrant, John Marshall celebrated Saint Patrick’s Day at his home in New York. Saint Patrick’s Day was originally celebrated for commemorating the death of Saint Patrick, a praised Christian missionary and bishop during the 5th century in Ireland. As Irish patriotism grew throughout New York City, people began marching down the streets of Manhattan. This eventually became not only the largest parade in the United States, but one of the largest in the world. If your favorite color is green and you also enjoy drinking, then you will definitely love New York City’s Saint Patrick’s Day.
The first thing you should be aware of when celebrating this holiday in New York is that you should wear one green-colored clothing – or at least have a green accessory like a headband. It would be awesome if everything on you is green. The color green has first been used as the green flag for the Irish Catholic Confederation in the 1640s. This led to the wearing of green ribbons and shamrocks on Saint Patrick's Day since at least the 1680s. With such history, wearing the color green grew out as a norm on Saint Patrick’s Day.
After getting ready for the holiday by having something green on yourself, then you should go out and join the parade. The parade marches along the 5th avenue in Manhattan. Around 150,000 people from different groups including bands, cultural, social and political groups participate in the parade annually. It is now the largest one in the world. If you don’t want to march down 1.5 miles down the avenue, you can just watch the parade and feel the green spirit.
You will get thirsty after enjoying the parade and its vigorous spirits. Now it is time for you to enjoy the Irish pubs in the city. You can drink artificially colored green beer at the pubs. Stout beer originally brewed by the company Guinness in Ireland is also popular. McSorley’s is the most beloved Irish pub in New York City, located between 2nd and 3rd Avenue of 15 East 7th Street. Their house brews have only two varieties, light and dark, but the taste is praised by many people.
Saint Patrick’s Day is not only a religious day, but it is a big cultural festival in New York. Even though they don’t even share a drop of Irish blood, people just gather around to enjoy the festival. It is amazing how despite their different cultural backgrounds, they merge into one big cultural celebration. I believe this is by far the truest global gathering of all.