The World's Largest Beer Festival
For those who savor beer, Germany's Oktoberfest is one of the most longed-for festivals in the world. Every year, more than 6 million people from around the globe gather in Munich to celebrate the world's largest beer fair. The festival takes place for about 16 days from late September to the first weekend of October. The festival held to celebrate the marriage of crown prince in 1810 is known to be the origin of Oktoberfest. During the fair, one can enjoy not only beer but various parades and events as well.
The very first stage of Oktoberfest is the marching parade to announce the start of the 16 days long festival. On the first day of the fair, which is Saturday, thousands of people march down the Munich streets followed by carts full of beer barrels. Once the parade is over, the mayor of Munich opens the first beer barrel. When opening it, the mayor shouts 'O'zapft is' meaning the barrel is opened and it officially declares the beginning of Oktoberfest. Only after this can people open other beer barrels and start selling them. On the 2nd day of the festival, nearly ten thousand people march across Munich downtown in German traditional costumes. The tradition costume parade became the official event of Oktoberfest in 1950, and ever since it has been the essential part of the fair. The 'child of Munich', which is the symbol of the city of Munich leads the parade followed by 40 cartful of people in costumes. Only six major beer companies of the city are allowed to set up tents and serve during Oktoberfest. Annually, 6 million liters of beer is consumed on average in 16 days.
Oktoberfest began as a local festival of a relatively small scale. Yet, now it is one of the world's most famous and celebrated festivals. Recently, many other cities around the globe hold their own version of Oktoberfest. The author believes Okterberfest is a festival truely worth visting for once in life.
To Seung Hyun Kim from Do Hee Kim
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your essay. I especially like the part where it says 6 million litters of beer is consumed on average in 16 days of the holiday. :)
1. Thesis statement: During the fair, one can enjoy not only beer but various parades and events as well. , and yes it does identify the process of the holiday.
2. Background information: starts from late Sept. to early Oct. , parades of people with traditional costumes, and selling, drinking beer
3. The body paragraph does present a different part of the process, but I believe It would've been better if the whole paragraph was divided
4. on the first day of the fair, once, only after
5. The body paragraph provides details and explanations of the holiday, elaborating what is held on each day.
6. The writer included a recommendation , telling the readers that it would be worth visiting once in a life time.
To Seunghyun Kim from Huidong Im on Assignment 2
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is
I think you described the festival very vividly. I was not at all bored reading it. Although your broke down the processes of Oktoberfest in many parts, it was not difficult to follow. Good job.
2. Your main point seems to be
Your main pint seems to be the processes of Oktoberfest.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful
I really like the part where you explained how the festival is declared to start. You explained it so vividly that I could actually visualize all the crowds marching the streets, the mayor shouting, and people opening their beer barrels. That stuck me the most powerful.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved
In the first line of the first paragraph, you used the verb “saver”. I think in this context the verb makes the meaning unclear or weak. I would like to use such clear verbs as “like”, “love”, “devour”
5 .The one change you could make that could make the biggest change in this piece of writing is
In the second paragraph, you explained the festival by date. However, you wrote all those information in one paragraph. I think it would be better if you divided the paragraph.