Honestly speaking, I was more worried than excited about starting the new year. I took the last semester off for re-taking university entrance exams. Though I spent the second half of 2013 studying 14 hours a day, the results fell short of my expectation. Once the exams were over, I was deeply let down and preoccupied with the feeling that my last few months' efforts were meaningless. Even till the very end of 2013, I was not fully over with the depressed feelings. Nevertheless, as the new year began, it came to my mind that I cannot let it haunt me any longer. Let bygones be bygones I thought. I decided to set goals and try even harder in order to compensate for the last semester I missed. Thus I have made a resolution for 2014.
The very new-year resolution of mine is to be faithful to the present. I recently think that I am not really living in the moment. Though in my mind I plan various things, when it comes to actually practicing them, I always procrastinate and hardly get half the plan done. In last November, I was left with much time for myself since the exams were over. So I ordered books to read, signed up for fitness center, and bought a guitar to play. At first, it seemed that I lived a day to the full. However, only after a couple of weeks, I started to slack off and I spent the last two months of 2013 mostly doing nothing. Now thinking back, I feel that it left much to be desired because I doubt if I will ever have such a long and free time truly for myself. Now I have come back to HUFS after so long a vacation, I must not repeat the same mistake again. I have made my mind up to pull every string to live this semester to the full.
It has already been three months since the new year of 2014 began. Though I made a firm resolution, I sometimes wonder if I am really keeping it and from time to time I get the feeling I am not. However, I must not forget my resolution and should try to live up to it.
To Seung Hyun Kim From Naeun Kang
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is your topic.
I know what you felt, and I can sympathize with it. After vacation, many students including me say “what I did in this vacation?” “I wasted time”. So don’t be frustrated. I guess you have more vacation. Is it right? Since this is the last semester for me, I don’t have any vacation more. I envy you. I believe if you try to do as you said, it would be great.
2. Your main point seems to be the new-year resolution for 2014.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful!
Words or lines: I have made my mind up to pull every string to live this semester to the full.
The reason: The sentence means “I will do my best in this semester”. If you wrote like that, the effect would be small. However the sentence you wrote was vivid, live and powerful. It was let me think you will do your best one by one, in everything.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (&meaning not clear' supporting points missing, or seems mixed up, writing not lively)
The lines: Now thinking back, I feel that it left much to be desired because I doubt if I will ever have such a long and free time truly for myself.
The reason: I got what the sentence means. But I don’t know why you wrote it. Do you mean that though you did nothing special, it was long and free time for yourself, so was is good for you? or it seemed to free time for yourself.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is examples.
To be faithful to the present is great idea I think. (I used to think the past times, and the future, so your resolution was very good to me too) If you wrote, what you did after making up your mind in detail, for instance, achievement after your resolution, it would be more powerful I think. Though it was great one for me to think what I should do now.
From Huidong Im to Seunghyun Kim on the first 2014 assignment
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is
I think good writing starts with honesty. One should try to write about things that come from their heart. Made-up things hardly move people, especially for me. I liked your writing very much because I could actually grasp how you felt at that time and your resolution. Your writing grabbed my attention so that I could read it through without being bored.
2. Your main point seems to be
You main point seems to be your resolution not to regret the past and stay in the present to the full. Though, I could get your main point after I had read through the writing to the end. When I was about half through your writing, the main point was not that clear to me. I was somewhat confused that your writing was a story about your past exam failure or your resolution to stick to the present.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful:
“The very new-year resolution of mine is to be faithful to the present. I recently think that I am not really living in the moment. Though in my mind I plan various things, when it comes to actually practicing them, I always procrastinate and hardly get half the plan done” These lines struck me the most powerful. I can identify with the feelings you had when you figured you were not living in the present. But I have a question. You said you think you are not living in the present because you often find yourself procrastinating things. But, isn’t it also possible that while someone is doing everything he has planned but still living not in the present? I think living in the present is more about being immersed in the present and feeling happy than about doing everything one has committed himself to do.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or words could be improved.
“Now thinking back, I feel that it left much to be desired because I doubt if I will ever have such a long and free time truly for myself.” This line was not that clear to me. Though I can understand what you are trying to say, I think it could be improved like this. “Now thinking back, I feel like I lost a very precious opportunity to do things freely for me as I doubt I will ever have such a long and free time.” Just my opinion.^^
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is:
I think you’ve many too many points in the writing. You first mentioned how you spend the last semester on preparing the exam and failed to provide the basis for the next point: what your new resolution is. Then, you talk about how you failed to live the two months after the test to the full to give information about how you procrastinate things. I think the first paragraph is not that related to the main topic: your new resolution that you will live in the moment. It also is a little bit long.