Goals for 2014
When it is time to celebrate the upcoming New Year, many people might remember everything that has happened in the last year. They might remember all the good times, and bad times. Some may promise themselves to achieve new goals, whatever they are, and to improve themselves as a person. I am not an exception. I like to rethink about everything that has happened to me in the year before and question myself what should I do in the next year. Then, I like to start setting certain goals that I expect to achieve this year.
This year was no different. My first goal was to learn French and make myself understood in French. And be able to at least have a simple French conversation by the time that the year ends. Now that my second major is French, this task has become easier and possible.
The second goal I set was to do something good for my body. I have a very lazy personality and I have never liked sports. Therefore, this year, I realized that it would be nice for my physical and mental health to do some physical training. In addition, I thought that doing some physical activity would be helpful to release the stress caused by life and college.
The third and last goal I set for myself is to get better grades and become a better interpreter and translator. Last year, as a freshman, and also as a foreigner I had trouble getting good grades particularly in lessons given into Korean, since this is one of my weaknesses. On the other hand, I have come to realize that interpretation and translation is no easy task, since it does not only require a high fluency of Korean and English.
In conclusion, in this year I have promised myself to improve my French and be able to have a French conversation. Second, I want to start physical activities for the sake of my mental and physical health and for the last, get better grades and become a better interpreter and translator. Hopefully, I will be able to achieve this goal and improve myself as a person.
To: Chun Hyesoo
ReplyDeleteFrom: Tae-Hwan Park
Assignment: 2014
1. What I like about this piece of writing is.
The organization of your essay was really good therefore it was really easy to understand and organize my thoughts.
Your main point seems to be.
Your goals for this year.
These particular words or lines struck me as powerful!
"The second goal I set was to do something good for my body." I really liked this sentence because it was simple and concise. I find that it's really easy for students to forget about their physical health, and this sentence motivated me to do some cardio.
Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, and writing not lively)
In the line "My first goal was to learn French and make myself understood in French" I think the sentence could be improved by changing the word understood to its present tense.
The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is.
This is a personal preference and my opinion. I think a big improvement would be if the phrase in conclusion is used by another word that signals the conclusion.
To. Chun Hye Soo
ReplyDeleteFrom. Kim Jeaho
Assignment: 2014
1. After reading your paragraph, I came to a conclusion that you have excellent sentence structure and paragraph organization. Your writing was easy to understand.
2. Your mainpoint seemed to be that you want to make three new goals for 2014
3. The phrase "I had trouble getting good grades particularly in lessons given into korean" because I, too, am a foreigner and I understand how you feel completely. As a foreigner, I can sympathize your current situation.
4. There wasn't anything too confusing in your writing. The only sentence that could've have improvement on was your tense error in "My first goal is to learn french and make myself understood french.
5. The one biggest improvement you can make is related to essay writing in general. You had no particular errors but I think that you can improve on writing examples on how you will achieve those goals. For example, what sports are you planning to enjoy in order for you to achieve your goal to improve your physical and mental endurance?
The third response has an error so I am adding the corrected form in the reply area
Delete3. The phrase "I had trouble getting good grades particularly in lessons given into korean" struck me as powerful because I, too, am a foreigner and I understand how you feel completely. As a foreigner, I can sympathize your current situation