2014
201300489 Bo-won Kim
A goal doesn't have to be something big. It can be something small and simple. People tend to
make their goals so high that they quit in the middle of process towards their goals. It gets worse
when the goal is for the entire year. I was one of them, too. My goals for year 2013 were
unspecific and unbelievably high that I could not even get near them. It is still one of my regrets
that I spent my year doing nothing. I believe that when a goal is set, a hope follows that leads
you towards a happy year. Therefore, I've set some goals that I can achieve through this year.
The first and the most important goal for this year could be some academic achievements both in
my major and my second major. Because last year I didn't study at all or just going through
books just the day before an exam. I will not repeat that again and try hard to get high scores
and not get behind my peers.
The second goal is to do the thing that I've wanted to do. It sounds quite unrealistic but
regarding that I have finally found the thing I've wanted to do which is a marketing, is such a big
news for me. Specifically, my goal is related to activities outside the college campus, like
campaigns. As time goes by, I know there are things that I must give up and it could be one of those.
So while I have the time and a chance, I'm going to do the thing I want to do this year.
The last goal of my year would be to take care of my health. Last year, as any freshmen would do,
I drank all night, going all the way and not taking any warning alerts from my body. As it turned
out, I have a quite a serious health problem and it became my wake-up call for taking care of my
own health. From now on, I cannot ban drinking from my life, but I'll try my best to reach out the goal.
2014 is going to be a challenge for me as I've set three goals that I must achieve - academic
achievements, works on marketing which I've wanted to do and taking care of my health.
However, it also is going to be a meaningful year. Now who would hesitate to set goals for one's
year? I bet it is going to be fascinating when looking back after achieving all the goals that one
has set for 2014.
sorry!! this is not the one. i sent it by mistake.
ReplyDeleteTo Bowon Kim
ReplyDeleteFrom Tae-Hwan Park
Assignment 2014
What I like about this piece of writing is.
The words used to set order like first second lastly next etc... These words made the essay organized and easy to read.
Your main point seems to be.
Your goals for this year.
These particular words or lines struck me as powerful!
"It can be something small and simple. " This is a point in plain sight however it's very easy to forget. I think we all try so hard for something and set the bars so high forgetting it makes the same or greater difference when the bars are set lower.
Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, and writing not lively)
" It sounds quite unrealistic but regarding that I have finally found the thing I've wanted to do" In this sentence the word unrealistic is used but I do not understand why it is unrealistic. If there is a reason it is unrealistic please explain.
The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is.
I think this is a technical mistake but the sentences start in new paragraphs for no reason. I would help to correct that.