| A process involves several intricate steps that leads to a result. One useful process when it comes to drinking has to do with preparation and remembering important tips. When drinking at social gatherings or even with friends, it is difficult to stay sober. People who enjoy alcohol tend to drink heavily. Such a case leads to blacking out, throwing up and having a hangover. In order to avoid such scenarios, following the process of preparation beforehand, remembering helpful tips and avoiding hangovers would be the way to go. First, preparation before going to drink is crucial. Eating beforehand is very important. Having an empty stomach would lead to feeling sick or throwing up. Therefore, eating a meal would be a smart move. Preferably, eating oily food like bacon allows the upper stomach to not absorb the alcohol and helps it come out as urine. Foods like egg yolk and milk are also a good option. Lying down for thirty minutes prior to drinking also increases a person's condition and helps one not to become as drunk. Thus following these steps before drinking would help a person have a good time without going overboard. Next, there are a series of tips one should keep in mind while drinking. The first one is to avoid spicy and salty foods. Such foods call for more alcohol. Eating bland tasting food like vegetables of fruits would be a wise option. Drinking a lot of water is another option. It leads to frequent restroom visits which leads to alcohol emission. Talking a lot leads to alcohol emission as well. Ten percent of alcohol is emitted through the breath. Seat selection is important as well. Sitting next to certain people that drink heavily would not be the best choice. Finally, good key points to remember to avoid hangovers are the final step. Drinking two full cups of water before going to sleep is the most important. Alcohol leads to dehydration. This is the main reason why hangovers occur. Moreover, drinking milk or dairy products helps one sober up as well. It was scientifically proven that dairy products help absorb the alcohol in the system.
In conclusion, healthy drinking involves several steps. Preparation before going to drink by eating certain foods would be the first step. The second step would be following several tips like drinking a lot of water and talking a lot. Such tips may seem minor but play a heavy role. Finally, drinking a lot of water before sleep helps avoid hangovers the next day. These three steps make up the process of healthy drinking. |
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Kunhoo Park / STEPS TO A HEALTHY DRINKING / TUE 11am~1pm
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To Kunhoo park from Huidong Im on Assignment 2
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is
Your writing is very well organized. I think the information you gave is very interesting and useful. I could nod my head several times in agreement with your point while reading it. You divided the information into three parts. Tips for drinkers before, during, and after drinking. I could easily follow your point.
2. Your main point seems to be
Your main point seems to be the tips one could follow to say sober when drinking alcohol
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful
As the first line in the first paragraph, you said “a process involves several intricate steps that lead to a result.” At first, I did not understand the meaning so had to read the line several times. However, I could get the meaning immediately right after I read the first part of the first paragraph. As difficult as the line was to understand first, I think that grabbed my attention and made me want to read it through. I think that is a pretty powerful first sentence.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved
You wrote “Lying down for thirty minutes prior to drinking also increases a person's condition.” I think the word “condition” is a little ambiguous. I think the line sounds right in Korean but I am not sure that line is natural in English too. Also, the verb “increase”, I think, does not match well with the noun “condition”
5 .The one change you could make that could make the biggest change in this piece of writing is
Your writing is generally well organized and easy to understand. But there are some lines unclear that I specified in the above section. Some modifications on such unclear lines will improve your writing a lot.
To Chun Hyesoo From So Young Na
ReplyDeleteHi :) Your piece of writing is very interesting as there are some very useful tips on how to prepare before drinking a lot. I will take not of eating oily food beforehand.
1. The thesis of this writing seems to be
" In order to avoid such scenarios, following the process of preparation beforehand, remembering helpful tips and avoiding hangovers would be the way to go."
2. The background of this writing's topic is that there are several steps to avoid heavy drinking and serious hangover. Eating certain food and drinking lots of water helps avoiding heavy drinking and drinking two cups of water can prevent painful hangover.
3. The writing presents each of the different parts of the process.
4. The parts are organized in a logical sequence, using sequences like "First, next, finally, in conclusion."
5. Three body paragraphs do have definitions and detail facts but there weren't any insufficient information.
6. There is recommendations on how to avoid heavy drinking and hangover.
It was pleasant to read your writing!
To Kunhoo Park from Seung Hyun Kim
ReplyDelete1. The thesis statement of the essay is 'In order to avoid such scenarios, following the process of preparation beforehand, remembering helpful tips and avoiding hangovers would be the way to go'
2. The writer provides some background information regarding the topic such as 'People who enjoy alcohol tend to drink heavily. Such a case leads to blacking out, throwing up and having a hangover' which is the reason why the tips he tells us are important.
3. Each body paragraph does present a different part of the process.
4. The body paragraph follows the chronological sequence. Each paragraph talks about what to do before, while and after drinking respectively.
5. The essay do have several facts and details such as tips what to do to avoid hangover and they are fully supported by following sentences.
6. The writer ends the essay with a recommendation for the tips he provides.
Second Draft according to critique
ReplyDeleteA process involves several intricate steps that leads to a result. One useful process when it comes to drinking has to do with preparation and remembering important tips. When drinking at social gatherings or even with friends, it is difficult to stay sober. People who enjoy alcohol tend to drink heavily. Such a case leads to blacking out, throwing up and having a hangover. In order to avoid such scenarios, following the process of preparation beforehand, remembering helpful tips and avoiding hangovers would be the way to go.
First, preparation before going to drink is crucial. Eating beforehand is very important. Having an empty stomach would lead to feeling sick or throwing up. Therefore, eating a meal would be a smart move. Preferably, eating oily food like bacon allows the upper stomach to not absorb the alcohol and helps it come out as urine. Foods like egg yolk and milk are also a good option. Lying down for thirty minutes prior to drinking also makes a person more vitalized and helps one not to become as drunk. Thus following these steps before drinking would help a person have a good time without going overboard.
Next, there are a series of tips one should keep in mind while drinking. The first one is to avoid spicy and salty foods. Such foods call for more alcohol. Eating bland tasting food like vegetables of fruits would be a wise option. Drinking a lot of water is another option. It leads to frequent restroom visits which leads to alcohol emission. Talking a lot leads to alcohol emission as well. Ten percent of alcohol is emitted through the breath. Seat selection is important as well. Sitting next to certain people that drink heavily would not be the best choice.
Finally, good key points to remember to avoid hangovers are the final step. Drinking two full cups of water before going to sleep is the most important. Alcohol leads to dehydration. This is the main reason why hangovers occur. Moreover, drinking milk or dairy products helps one sober up as well. It was scientifically proven that dairy products help absorb the alcohol in the system.
In conclusion, healthy drinking involves several steps. Preparation before going to drink by eating certain foods would be the first step. The second step would be following several tips like drinking a lot of water and talking a lot. Such tips may seem minor but play a heavy role. Finally, drinking a lot of water before sleep helps avoid hangovers the next day. These three steps make up the process of healthy drinking.