Finding your Identity
Have you ever experienced a moment in life where you’re just not sure who you really are? Well I have. After leaving Korea at the age of 6, I lived in Thailand for 12 years. After I graduated high school I came back to my “home town” that I had never properly lived in. I thought it wouldn't be a problem because I tend to adapt to new environments quite easily. However, the new chapter of my life this time didn't turn out to be easy at all. I started losing my identity. It’s been a year since I've come to Korea and I’m determined to stop this pointless wandering. To achieve this goal I tried to understand and accept my national identity instead of always thinking I’m not “Korean.”
As soon as I started out my college life in Korea I realized that people from this country were so different. In Thailand, since I attended an international school I was surrounded by people from all over the world. I thought I knew enough not only about most ethnic groups but especially the people from my country. But when I started to interact with the real Koreans I was proved wrong. The way people acted, the way people spoke, the way they thought it was all new to me. Everything felt wrong and I started to feel like I no longer knew what country I was from. The more time passed by I felt like I was not meant to be here and that coming to Korea was a mistake. However, I realized that changing the way I thought was the only way I could possibly survive. The most important thing for me to do was to accept difference. It’s hard to convince yourself what you once thought was wrong, not wrong. But locking yourself in a self-made perimeter and being afraid to step out is your loss.
Finding my identity required the ability to accept difference, understand change, and most importantly have courage. Although my one step forward did not entirely change my life yet, I’m still continuing to work on it and I believe and hope that by the end of this year my hopeless wandering will come to an end. Today, instead of being so narrow-minded, I learned that different, after all, is not wrong.
To Hae Jin Jang From Naeun Kang
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writing is your topic.
I’ve thought about who I am and what should I do several times. So I was interested in your essay because it grabs my eyes. Also your hook is great because it catches eyes and show what you will say in your essay.
.2. Your main point seems to be how to adapt to and overcome new environment.
3. These particular words or lines struck me as powerful!
Words or lines: However, the new chapter of my life this time didn't turn out to be easy at all. I started losing my identity.
The reason: First, I like the word ‘the new chapter’ because it shows you thought that the life after moving into Korea is new start in your life. Also, I guess you try to adapt to the new environment, even though it is hard. There are lots of people as you, but among them, many people do not try to adapt to and understand the different environment. The sentence and the word say several things.
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved (&meaning not clear' supporting points missing, or seems mixed up, writing not lively)
The lines: It’s hard to convince yourself what you once thought was wrong, not wrong.
The reason: What was the wrong one you thought? The Korean’s way? or Your way? I was confused about that. If you gave an example, it would be great.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is examples.
Though it was easy to understand how it was difficult to adapt to new environment and how to overcome it, there were not enough specific examples to understand the situation. If you gave details, it would be even easier to understand your situation.
From Huidong Im ot Haejin Jang on the first 2014 assignment.
ReplyDelete1. What I like about this piece of writhing is
I really enjoyed your writing. I believe honesty is the most important element of good writing and I could feel the sincere feeling of yours as you express your thoughts. Your wring is well structured. Also, you’ve articulated your ideas in such a way that people who don’t have such experiences as yours could understand and identify with your feelings.
2. Your main point seems to be
You main point seems to be that you realized the way to overcome your struggles and accepting differences in people is the most important.
3. These particular lines or words stuck me as powerful
Among many very powerful lines you’ve written, “But locking yourself in a self-made perimeter and being afraid to step out is your loss.” is the most powerful one. I think anyone could empathize with this line. I think you have a great ability to express abstract feeling in concrete words in a natural way. Of course your English is great!
4. Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or words could be improved.
I did not find any particular flaw worth mentioning. So I leave you with this very minor problem. In the sentence “The way people acted, the way people spoke, the way they thought it was all new to me. “, I do not understand what “it” means. Making a comment on such a minor thing even makes me embarrassed. Good job.
5. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is
I think it would be better I you specified how people in Korea and Thailand think, speak, and act in different ways. A fine example could make people to empathize with you easier.