Colourful Eggs on the Run
For many elementary school students from foreign countries, especially the United States or Canada, they enjoy a very common holiday in to its very best. That holiday is called Easter Monday. Easter is generally a day to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ; however, in North America, Easter is basically a day for children to take in dangerous amounts of chocolate and become hyper for the rest of the day. The day consists of colouring, searching, and getting rewards for finding eggs. It may also include rewards as well.
If I remember correctly, on the morning of Easter Monday, I went to school with excitement and anticipation. When I arrived at school, I could see all the colourful decorations that was hung up on the ceiling, walls, and doors. As soon I a walk into class, I see a bunch of paintbrushes, empty egg shells, and a carton for a dozen eggs. This got my head spinning because I knew we were going to colour the eggs for class that day. My friends and I would pick up my paintbrush and start painting away on the egg shell. First, I would dunk my egg shell into the bowl of paint, then I would let it dry for a while. After it dries, I would dip my paintbrush into a different colour of paint and start brushing away at the dry, coloured egg shell. Everyone would feel very satisfied with their own creation, like how I felt about mine. However, this isn’t everything about Easter Monday, we also had to search for eggs.
Searching for eggs was mighty fun and having dessert while searching was even better.
The teacher’s would hide around 100 chocolate eggs around the school field and let the children loose to search for the eggs. Some chocolate eggs were wrapped in gold, which is a special egg which I will talk about later. When the children search for eggs, the situation gets quite messy. They try to take each other’s eggs, they complain who found it first, and they even mumble about not getting to find anything. It will look quite chaotic if you’re a bystander. Some cannot wait till the search is over, so they unwrap their eggs immediately and start feasting on them. In the end, the teacher’s would stop the search just in case the children would start fighting again. The search is not the end of the day though, there is one more fun event that awaits the children.
As mentioned before, there were chocolate eggs in gold wrappings. These eggs are actually for prizes. The child with the most golden eggs gets to have a grand prize and I remember it was a huge chocolate bunny to take home. Of course there were second and third prizes for the more, unfortunate children. They get to have something, not as grand as the gigantic chocolate bunny but something that can satisfy any child. After the prizes, we would happily eat the chocolate we found and hop along the way to home.
I really enjoyed the time for Easter Monday as a grade schooler. Getting paint, find and receive rewards for eggs really had me energized. Although Easter Monday may seem like a minor holiday, as a child, it meant a lot for other children and me because it was a day for us to enjoy infinite amounts of chocolate.
To: Jae Ho Kim
ReplyDeleteFrom: Park Taehwan
Assignment: Assignment 2
What I like about this piece of writing is.
This writing is full of good descriptions that allowed me to clearly imagine what you were trying to portray. In the first paragraph the sequence is interestingly written in the past continuous tense which made the essay fun to read.
Your main point seems to be.
Your main point was about Easter day, to be more specific about the coloring, painting, and rewards.
These particular words or lines struck me as powerful!
"dunk my egg shell." I really liked the word dunked because I can imagine a kid excited and just almost throwing an egg into a bowl rather than carefully dipping it.
" start feasting on them" was another expression that further enhanced my imagination of a kid just kept on eating and devouring.
Some things aren’t clear to me. These lines or parts could be improved(meaning not clear, supporting points missing, order seems mixed up, and writing not lively)
This sentence in the 2nd body "It will look quite chaotic if you’re a bystander" according to how you explained in the former sentences, it actually looks chaotic so I was not sure what you mean to imply here.
The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is.
One thing I would like to change is the golden egg that was mention in the 2nd paragraph. I would personally like to just mention it once rather than say let me explain this later.
Sorry I misunderstood this assignment's comment format, so am redoing it.
ReplyDeleteTo: Jae Ho Kim
From: Park Taehwan
Assignment: Assignment 2
1) "The day consists of colouring, searching, and getting rewards for finding eggs. It may also include rewards as well." This is the thesis
2)The background information is that Easter day is about the resurrection of Christ however on this day kids easy an unhealthy amount of chocolate.
3) Yes
4)Yes the essay had a logical sequence that started with painting the eggs, then hunting them, and finally giving out the prizes.
5) Yes there were some details like the teacher would hide 100 eggs, and the reaction the kids had while searching and finding them. The giant bunny chocolate was an important detail too. I wish there were some details on where the eggs were hidden.
6) Yes the writer evaluated he really enjoyed the festival.