Ways to Achieve Happiness; Have Smile, Gratitude and Love
Yujin Lee
There is a saying that goes, "Misfortunes never come single." Last year was the kind of year since so many bad lucks followed me. Looking back upon the days, it was surely one of the hardest moments of my life and I desperately wanted to be happy. To be honest, I never thought about happiness seriously before then. However, as I was surrounded by such unhappy situations, I tried hard to figure out the ways to achieve happiness and I found three most important factors; they are smile, gratitude and love. These factors which seem quite simple can actually lead us to great happiness.
First, it is important to smile because smile is one of the key factors to build better relationships with people. Honestly speaking, I was not the kind of person who smiles often. Many people had said that smile attracts happiness but I did not believe in them. I thought deliberate smiles would not change anything but since I was so desperate, I decided to clutch at straws. Surprisingly, after I started to smile, I faced some amazing changes around me. Every time I smiled, people smiled me back and approached me in a very friendly way. Soon after, I came to realize that I was surrounded by many nice people. They helped me to endure hard times and I found myself having really happy smiles with them.
Also, having gratitude can lead us to happiness as it helps you to become a positive person. I believe everything has both positive and negative sides; if you cut a cucumber, no matter how thin you try to slice, it would have two sides. Likewise, everything is two-sided and it is our decision to choose which side to see. And when we try to have gratitude, we start to look on positive sides. If we say thanks to a challenging task that seems to generate only stress, it suddenly becomes a rewarding task. If we are thankful at a problem, it starts to give us lessons. After I tried to have gratitude, I was truly amazed by numbers of blessings I had, even though I was having hard times.
Lastly, I believe love is a crucial factor to become happy since it helps to bring peace to one's mind. There are many situations and people that are hard to deal with in everyday life. It might seem they bring constant problems that disturb your peace of mind. To manage these problems, you can either ignore or fight with them. But I think the best solution is to love them. For example, if there are people who keep irritating you, try to love them. It may sound strange but soon you will realize that you feel much more generous. You start to overlook their mistakes and bad behaviors as well as enjoy the situations. As a result, your mind will be more peaceful and stable. Usually, it is beyond your ability to make others love you but you can always try to make yourself love them. And it will surely do the trick to find peace in your mind.
I believe everybody wants to be happy. But most times, we seem to forget that happiness is something we should achieve by ourselves. We often misunderstand happiness as luck or fortune that rarely comes to us. However, if you only think for a moment, you will realize that many happy people were not the people who had best luck. Therefore, In order to become truly happy, I think we should find our own ways to achieve happiness rather than wish for better luck. And based on my experience, I suggest you to have smile, gratitude and love. These factors might look obvious but if you put them into action, they will certainly make you a happier person.
201101524 Park Hyun-ju
ReplyDelete1. Yes, I think the last sentence "These factors(smile, gratitude and love) which seem quite simple can actually lead us to great happiness." is a general thesis about the causes of happiness.
2. Yes, each paragraph has a topic sentence. The topic sentence of the first paragraph is "First, it is important to smile because smile is one of the key factors to build better relationships with people." The topic sentence for the second paragraph is "Also, having gratitude can lead us to happiness as it helps you to become a positive person." The topic sentence for the last body paragraph is "Lastly, I believe love is a crucial factor to become happy since it helps to bring peace to one's mind."
3. I think causes are explained in a logical way with concrete reasons and specific examples.
4. Yes. The writer used many connectors to effectively show cause and effect like since, because, As a result etc.
5. Yes, the conclusion effectively sums up the main ideas by restating the causes of happiness. "And based on my experience, I suggest you to have smile, gratitude and love."
6. The essay is really well-organized and easy to understand. I really enjoyed it!
Hi! I enjoyed reading your essay. It was very convincing :)
ReplyDelete1. The introduction includes a general thesis about the causes and effect. Becoming happy is the effect and the three causes are smiling, expressing gratitude, and loving the things that give you a hard time. This includes people who don't get along with you very well.
"I tried hard to figure out the ways to achieve happiness and I found three most important factors; they are smile, gratitude and love. These factors which seem quite simple can actually lead us to great happiness."
2. Each paragraph contains a topic sentence that defines a specific cause. The first paragraph talks about how smiling can lead to happiness, the next paragraph stresses the importance of expressing gratitude, and the final paragraph discusses the need to love the obstacles/ people that may give you a hard time.
3. The causes were explained in a logical way. There were enough supporting details to explain the topic sentences in each paragraphs. Some paragraphs have examples and personal experiences which make the essay more convincing and easier to understand.
4. The writer uses connectors such as "as a result" and "therefore" to show cause and effect. They make it easier for the readers to identify the causes.
5. The conclusion restates the thesis.
"Therefore, in order to become truly happy, I think we should find our own ways to achieve happiness rather than wish for better luck. And based on my experience, I suggest you to have smile, gratitude and love."
6. The essay ends with an evaluation. The writer concludes that luck does not equal to happiness. Therefore, people should look for other ways to become truly happy.
"Therefore, in order to become truly happy, I think we should find our own ways to achieve happiness rather than wish for better luck."
The second draft
ReplyDeleteWays to Achieve Happiness; Have Smile, Gratitude and Love
Yujin Lee
There is a saying that goes, "Misfortunes never come single." Last year was the kind of year since so many bad lucks followed me. Looking back upon the days, it was surely one of the hardest moments of my life and I desperately wanted to be happy. To be honest, I never thought about happiness seriously before then. However, as I was surrounded by such unhappy situations, I tried hard to figure out the ways to achieve happiness and I found three most important factors; they are smile, gratitude and love. These factors which seem quite simple can actually lead us to great happiness.
First, it is important to smile because smile is one of the key factors to build better relationships with people. Honestly speaking, I was not the kind of person who smiles often. Many people had said that smile attracts happiness but I did not believe in them. I thought deliberate smiles would not change anything but since I was so desperate, I decided to clutch at straws. Surprisingly, after I started to smile, I faced some amazing changes around me. Every time I smiled, people smiled me back and approached me in a very friendly way. Soon after, I came to realize that I was surrounded by many nice people. They helped me to endure hard times and I found myself having really happy smiles with them.
Also, having gratitude can lead us to happiness as it helps you to become a positive person. I believe everything has both positive and negative sides; if you cut a cucumber, no matter how thin you try to slice, it will have two sides. Likewise, everything is two-sided and it is our decision to choose which side to see. And when we try to have gratitude, we start to look on positive sides. If we say thanks to a challenging task that seems to generate only stress, it will suddenly become a rewarding task. If we are thankful at a problem, it will start to give us lessons. After I tried to have gratitude, I was truly amazed by numbers of blessings I had, even though I was having hard times; besides if I hadn’t experienced hard times, I wouldn’t have had a chance to think about happiness sincerely.
Lastly, I believe love is a crucial factor to become happy since it helps to bring peace to one's mind. Needlessly to say, to love things that provide pleasure and comfort contribute to the inner peace since they support one’s mind. But I think it is also important to love things that provide hardships. There are many situations and people that are hard to deal with in everyday life. It might seem they bring constant problems that disturb peace of mind. To manage these problems, you can either ignore or fight with them. However I think the best solution is to love them. For example, if there are people who keep irritating you, try to love them. It may sound strange but soon you will realize that you feel much more generous. You start to overlook their mistakes as well as enjoy the situations. As a result, your mind will be more peaceful and stable. Usually, it is beyond your ability to make others love you but you can always try to make yourself love them.
In most cases, we seem to forget that happiness is something we should achieve by ourselves. We often misunderstand happiness as luck or fortune that rarely comes to us. However, if you only think for a moment, you will realize that many happy people are not the people who have best luck. Therefore, In order to become truly happy, I think we should find our own ways to achieve happiness rather than wish for better luck. And based on my experience, I suggest you to have smile, gratitude and love. These factors might look obvious but if you put them into action, they will certainly make you a happier person.