| 201302209 Haesook Yoon People nowadays say, "You cannot buy happiness but you can buy a jet ski and that is pretty close." I mostly agree with the saying. However, there are a lot of other things that we can try to find happiness. We can buy a jet ski to make us happy, but we can also accomplish something, realize and gratitude to feel happiness. Accomplishment can bring happiness. When people made their dreams come true, they would feel like they had the world. When I got into HUFS, I was happy to death and was my family. However, my teachers thought I worth more and they disappointed a little. With this tactic, people must be aware of what they can accomplish. If the goal is beyond one's limit, happiness can be the hardest thing one can get. If the goal is appropriate, people should be proud of what they are doing. Realizing the situation around me can bring happiness. The situation in detail means who I am, what I am doing and where I am, etc… Understanding the situation one has can help the one to see more opportunity to catch. We usually do several projects at the same time so we need to organize our situation. This strategy will help us to use our time efficiently so we could look around and find some other thing to make us happy. Gratitude definitely brings happiness because gratitude shows one's contentment. When someone is satisfied and content, happiness comes. If one starts to thank for small things, the one will see other small things thankful which will bring more happiness. It is a chain of happiness. Once started, it keeps going. So, I try to see everything in a very positive way and it works every time. We can feel happy with accomplishing, realizing and gratitude. Those tactics are more doable than to make a fortune for university students. Happiness is not far away, we can feel it even now. So try those from today!
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Saturday, April 5, 2014
Hae Sook Yoon/ Assignment 3/ Tues. 11A.M
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From Daewon Shin To Hae Sook Yoon
ReplyDeleteHello, Hae Sook. I really enjoyed your essay and here's my comment.
1. Yes it does. "We can buy a jet ski to make us happy, but we can also accomplish something, realize and gratitude to feel happiness." is the one. It also shows cause and effect in the way of telling to do something in order to be happy.
2. Yes, each body paragraph has a topic sentence like "accomplishment can bring happiness" in the firs body, "realizing the situation around me can bring happiness" in the second one, and "gratitude definitely brings happiness because gratitude shows one's contentment." in the last body paragraph and each of them is specific enough for me to see exactly what is cause of happiness in each paragraph.
3. I think every explanation of cause is logical except the first one. I would not say it is written in illogical way, but for me, if you are aware of what you can accomplish, you will be more disappointed, which makes you unhappier.
4. I don'k think so. But there are some verbs expressing cause and effect such as "help", "make", and "bring".
5. Yes, it does. " We can feel happy with accomplishing, realizing and gratitude" is that one. You embraced all causes you stated in the body paragraphs, I think.
6. You concluded your essay writing evaluation in the conclusion. In the sentence of "Those tactics are more doable to make a fortune for university students." you evaluates which way is more easier for students to find happiness.
Thank you.
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ReplyDeleteFrom Chaelim to haesook.
ReplyDeleteThis is my comment on your essay:D!!
1. I think the introduction include a general thesis about the causes and effect. Your thesis statement is 'We can buy a jet ski to make us happy, but we can also accomplish something, realize and gratitude to feel happiness'.
2. Yes, each body paragraph contain a topic sentence that defines a specific cause. In the first body paragraph, it is ' Accomplishment can bring happiness', and 'Realizing the situation around me can bring happiness' in second paragraph, and ' Gratitude definitely brings happiness because gratitude shows one's contentment' in the third paragraph.
3. I think this essay explained all the causes in a logical way.
4. No, I didn't see any use of connectors.
5. Yes. you can see it in 'We can feel happy with accomplishing, realizing and gratitude'.
6. i think this essay ends with some evaluation and recommendation, 'Those tactics are more doable than to make a fortune for university students' is about evaluation, and 'Happiness is not far away, we can feel it even now. So try those from today!' is recommendation.
I really enjoyed your writing! Thank you!
Not Money but Myself.
ReplyDelete201302209 Haesook Yoon
People nowadays say, "You cannot buy happiness but you can buy a jet ski and that is pretty close." I mostly agree with the saying. However, there are a lot of other things that we can try to find happiness. We can buy a jet ski to make us happy, but we can also accomplish something, realize and gratitude to feel happiness. Those are done without money. One-self is all one need.
Accomplishment can bring happiness. When people made their dreams come true, they would feel like they had the world. When I got into HUFS, I was happy to death and was my family. However, my teachers thought I worth more and they were disappointed a little. To make this tactic successful, people must be aware of what their limit is. If the goal is beyond one's limit, happiness can be the hardest thing one can get. If the goal is appropriate, people should be proud of what they are doing.
Realizing the situation around one can bring happiness. The situation in detail means who I am, what I am doing and where I am, etc… Understanding the situation one has can help see more opportunity to catch. People usually do several projects at the same time so we need to organize our situation. Once organized, people will find themselves more stable. Therefore This strategy will help us to use our time efficiently so we could look around and find some other thing to make us happy.
Gratitude definitely brings happiness because gratitude shows one's contentment. When someone is satisfied and content, happiness comes. If one starts to thank for small things, the one will see other small things thankful which will bring more happiness. It is a chain of happiness. Once started, it keeps going. So, I try to see everything in a very positive way and it works every time.
We can feel happy with accomplishing, realizing and gratitude. Those tactics are more doable than to make a fortune for university students. Happiness is not far away, we can feel it even now. So try those from today!