The Road to Happiness
As the world continues to grow on and on, the society becomes more competitive because each and every person has their own desire and ambition to succeed in this competing economy. However, the more you try to succeed, the more you lose your happiness in your own life. People tend to support their own happiness and joy because they are too focused on the “marathon” of life. So, in order to gain happiness, I believe it is vital to arrange time for hobbies, constantly exercise, and even give thought on how you can have a change in attitude towards your family.
As you try to compete with other “marathon runners” of life, you can tend to forget that you need to make time for your own interests. Hobbies are like the fuel for ambition. It may not be directly related to your real-life goals but they will energize you from the tiring daily life that you pursue. Hobbies are definitely important because they can let you forget the current economic situation you are in. To add more joy to your hobbies, you can have friends to join you in your interest and relieve stress together. As you grow older, there may be a time that you might feel the importance of hobbies and interests.
The next step to achieving happiness is to have a good habit of exercising. Similar to hobbies, exercising can also help your forget your worries and even make you healthier. Also, a person with a healthier body tends to have less stress, more confidence and happiness. A daily warm-up run is always beneficial for your happiness. As you run, you can enjoy the nature, the refreshing air, and a view of the city. These simple factions of the world are surprisingly stress relieving and give you a chance to look at a different perspective of the Earth.
Finally, I believe that changing how you act towards your family is very important. Because the world itself is very selfish, I am pretty sure that a majority of the people act very ignorant towards how other family members will feel. This is a very important matter to consider because a change of attitude can help not just your family members but also yourself. As everyone will agree, if the people around you are happy, you yourself will be happy as well. For example, teenagers might act cold and inconsiderate towards their parents on a regular basis; however, if teenagers consider how their parents might feel and instead give compliments to their parents, parents will be touched. By saying compliments to friends and family, I am sure that they will start to act differently towards you. Giving is caring is what I’d always like to say.
Therefore, providing time for hobbies, daily exercise, and changing how you act towards your family are ways that you can achieve happiness for you and other people. Since the world today is very ambitious, I believe you need to achieve happiness in this tiring society.
To Jeaho Kim from Xeniya Pak
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. So here are my comments.
1. Your thesis statement is really good and it shows what will be described in the next paragraphs. “So, in order to gain happiness, I believe it is vital to arrange time for hobbies, constantly exercise, and even give thought on how you can have a change in attitude towards your family.”
2. Yes. I believe that your topic sentences define specific causes which are also provided with details.
3. Yes you have provided logical explanations about effects of happiness.
4. Yes. In the first body paragraph you have described that making time for your own interests will lead to happiness. In the second, you have described that having a good habit of exercising contributes us to happiness and makes us happier. However, in the third, I believe it would be better if you add some explanations in the topic sentence. To be precise, the effect that causes happiness, because for me it is a little bit unclear.
5. Yes. Therefore, providing time for hobbies, daily exercise, and changing how you act towards your family are ways that you can achieve happiness for you and other people.
6. Reflection. Since the world today is very ambitious, I believe you need to achieve happiness in this tiring society.
1. Yes: So, in order to gain happiness, I believe it is vital to arrange time for hobbies, constantly exercise, and even give thought on how you can have a change in attitude towards your family.
ReplyDelete2. Yes. topic sentences are backed up with examples.
3. Yes. logical explanations are written.
4. Yes. Having hobbies, exercising, and caring for people.
5. Yes: Therefore, providing time for hobbies, daily exercise, and changing how you act towards your family are ways that you can achieve happiness for you and other people.
6. You reflect on having happiness in this ambitious world is needed.
From Bak Taehwan
ReplyDeleteTo Jae ho Kim
1) Yes there is "I believe it is vital to arrange time for hobbies, constantly exercise, and even give thought on how you can have a change in attitude towards your family."
2)Yes it does.
3)Yes they are.
4)Yes there are however they are repetitive for example "because"
5)Yes "Therefore, providing time for hobbies, daily exercise, and changing how you act towards your family are ways that you can achieve happiness for you and other people."
6)There is an evaluation "I believe you need to achieve happiness in this tiring society."
The Road to Happiness
ReplyDeleteAs the world continues to grow on and on, the society becomes more competitive because each and every person has their own desire and ambition to succeed in this competing economy. However, the more you try to succeed, the more you lose your happiness in your own life. People tend to support their own happiness and joy because they are too focused on the “marathon” of life. So, in order to gain happiness, I believe it is vital to arrange time for hobbies, constantly exercise, and even give thought on how you can have a change in attitude towards your family.
As you try to compete with other “marathon runners” of life, you can tend to forget that you need to make time for your own interests. Hobbies are like the fuel for ambition. It may not be directly related to your real-life goals but they will energize you from the tiring daily life that you pursue. Hobbies are definitely important because they can let you forget the stressful situation you are in. To add more joy to your hobbies, you can have friends to join you in your interest and relieve stress together. “The more the better” as people like to say. As you grow older, there may be a time that you might feel the importance of hobbies and interests.
The next step to achieving happiness is to have a good habit of exercising. Similar to hobbies, exercising can also help your forget your worries and even make you healthier. Also, a person with a healthier body tends to have less stress, more confidence and happiness. A daily warm-up run is always beneficial for your happiness. As you run, you can enjoy the nature, the refreshing air, and a view of the city. These simple factions of the world are surprisingly stress relieving and give you a chance to look at a different perspective of the Earth.
Finally, I believe that changing how you act towards your family is very important in contributing happiness. Keeping a smile on and acting kindly to the people you see every day makes us feel joyful in making others feel joy as well. Because the world itself is very selfish, I am pretty sure that a majority of the people act very ignorant towards how other family members will feel. This is a very important matter to consider because a change of attitude can help not just your family members but also yourself. As everyone will agree, if the people around you are happy, you yourself will be happy as well. For example, teenagers might act cold and inconsiderate towards their parents on a regular basis; however, if teenagers consider how their parents might feel and instead give compliments to their parents, parents will be touched. By saying compliments to friends and family, I am sure that they will start to act differently towards you. Giving is caring is what I’d always like to say.
Therefore, providing time for hobbies, daily exercise, and changing how you act towards your family are ways that you can achieve happiness for you and other people. Since the world today is very ambitious, I believe you need to achieve happiness in this tiring society.