The Pursuit of Happiness
There are many goals that people set in life that they want to achieve someday. I also have set a goal in my life: being truly happy. Happiness is the ultimate goal that, I'm sure, everyone wants to achieve. These days, I think people have forgotten the meaning of true happiness. People have replaced happiness with money, lust, and desire. They need to look back on the real causes and ways to be happy. I believe that family and friends, doing what you like, and money does really make you happy.
Having a healthy relationship with your family, and true friends is one key to being happy. The meaning of true friends is friends that you can consider as a part of your family. These people will be by your side no matter what, so making these people your top priority will always pay off. Being around these people ensures your happiness, because they can be fun, they can comfort you; basically everything you want to do and need to do with someone. These people can make you happy, different from making yourself happy. They are your lifelong true mates.
There are things in life that you like doing, and we have a word for some of these activities: hobbies. Some may enjoy their 'hobbies', but some may just enjoy tiny little activities that makes themselves happy. Having a hobby definitely boosts the quality of life. You have fun, and you enjoy that activity. For example, if you like watching movies, you enjoy movies and have fun, but it also kills time. Wasting time doing nothing or things that you don't really like definitely doesn't make you feel good, or happy. Doing things you like, however, definitely makes you happy and you don't feel like you've wasted your time doing it.
You can buy happiness. I said earlier, that people have replaced true happiness with money, but in a way, money can buy you your happiness. I believe not becoming crazy about money, but just buying or collecting things you like can boost your happiness. Spending money on things you don't even care about, but just want to boast your richness is just luxury. Things that make you happy aren't. But also, spending too much time on earning money won’t ensure your current happiness, but maybe later on in life. I believe current happiness is more important than the future, because nobody can ensure that you will be alive tomorrow. Buying things you like and spending less time earning money but enjoying yourself will make you happy.
If you got a good relationship with your family, have awesome friends, a hobby, and a decent amount of money, it's easy to say that you are happy. You have a happy life. You definitely are enjoying your life, and I'm pretty sure you won't regret any bit of it. I aim to have all of these as well, and I'm still working on it to become happier and happier everyday.
Hello My name is Hana Choi and I'm writing a comment for your essay.
ReplyDelete1. Does the introduction include a general thesis about the causes and effect? Underline this statement.
Yes. - I believe that family and friends, doing what you like, and money does really make you happy.
2. Does each body paragraph contain a topic sentence that defines a specific cause?
Yes. body paragraph 1: These people will be by your side no matter what, so making these people your top priority will always pay off. Being around these people ensures your happiness, because they can be fun, they can comfort you
body paragraph 2: Having a hobby definitely boosts the quality of life. You have fun, and you enjoy that activity.
body paragraph 3: buying or collecting things you like can boost your happiness.
3. Are the causes explained in a logical way? I can barely see things to pinpoint but I want you to complement body paragraph 3 because I do not get why you talked about the future and the current earning etc. It is kind of difficult to get the point of the 3rd body paragraph.
4. Does the writer use connectors to show cause and effect? Yes. 'So, Also, Because etc'. But I hope you to put more connectors to make the essay be understood more clearly.
5. Does the conclusion restate the causes? Yes. - If you got a good relationship with your family, have awesome friends, a hobby, and a decent amount of money, it's easy to say that you are happy.
6. Is there an evaluation or a reflection in the conclusion? Write it here.
Yes. The last sentence shows your reflection.
By Jeaho Kim
ReplyDelete1. Yes. The thesis is that family and friends, doing what you like, and money makes you happy.
2. Yes. All body paragraphs contain a topic sentence
Body 1. Having a healthy relationship with family and friends
Body 2. There are things in life that you like doing ..... activities and hobbies.
Body 3. You can buy happiness.
3. Mostly Yes. But in the 3rd paragraph, I think that the details went slightly off-topic. But the rest are clearly explaindd.
4. Yes such as but, so, also.
5. The conclusion does restate the causes. It states in the conclusion, "If you got a good relationship with your family, a hobby, and a decent amount of money, it's easy to say that you are happy."
6. Yes. The last sentence shows the reflection
Seon Hyuk Im
ReplyDelete201302846
2nd Draft
The Pursuit of Happiness
There are many goals that people set in life that they want to achieve someday. I also have set a goal in my life: being truly happy. Happiness is the ultimate goal that, I'm sure, everyone wants to achieve. These days, I think people have forgotten the meaning of true happiness. People have replaced happiness with money, lust, and desire. They need to look back on the real causes and ways to be happy. I believe that family and friends, doing what you like, and money does really make you happy.
Having a healthy relationship with your family, and true friends is one key to being happy. The meaning of true friends is friends that you can consider as a part of your family. These people will be by your side no matter what, so making these people your top priority will always pay off. Being around these people ensures your happiness, because they can be fun, they can comfort you; basically everything you want to do and need to do with someone. These people can make you happy, different from making yourself happy. They are your lifelong true mates.
There are things in life that you like doing, and we have a word for some of these activities: hobbies. Some may enjoy their 'hobbies', but some may just enjoy tiny little activities that makes themselves happy. Having a hobby definitely boosts the quality of life. You have fun, and you enjoy that activity. For example, if you like watching movies, you enjoy movies and have fun, but it also kills time. Wasting time doing nothing or things that you don't really like definitely doesn't make you feel good, or happy. Doing things you like, however, definitely makes you happy and you don't feel like you've wasted your time doing it.
You can buy happiness. I said earlier, that people have replaced true happiness with money, but in a way, money can buy you your happiness. I believe not becoming crazy about money, but just buying or collecting things you like can boost your happiness. Spending money on things you don't even care about, but just want to boast your richness is just luxury. Things that make you happy aren't. Buying things you like and spending less time earning money but enjoying yourself will make you happy.
If you got a good relationship with your family, have awesome friends, a hobby, and a decent amount of money, it's easy to say that you are happy. You have a happy life. You definitely are enjoying your life, and I'm pretty sure you won't regret any bit of it. I aim to have all of these as well, and I'm still working on it to become happier and happier every day.
Final Draft
ReplyDeleteThe Pursuit of Happiness
There are many goals that people set in life that they want to achieve someday. I also have set a goal in my life: being truly happy. Happiness is the ultimate goal that, I'm sure, everyone wants to achieve. These days, I think people have forgotten the meaning of true happiness. People have replaced happiness with lust and desire. They need to look back on the real causes and ways to be happy. I believe that family and friends, doing what you like, and money make you happy.
Having a healthy relationship with your family, and true friends is one key to being happy. The meaning of true friends is friends that you can consider as a part of your family. These people will be by your side no matter what, so making these people your top priority will always pay off. Being around these people ensures your happiness, because they can be fun, or they can comfort you; basically everything you want to do and need to do with someone. I once heard a saying, that if you have someone that's been your friend for more than 10 years, that person will become a lifelong friend. I have a friend who I've known exactly for half my life, which is 10 years. He is like another brother to me, and he also treats me like one of his family. These people can make you happy, different from making yourself happy. They are your lifelong true mates.
There are things in life that you like doing, and we have a word for some of these activities: hobbies. Some may enjoy their 'hobbies', but some may just enjoy tiny little activities that makes themselves happy. Having a hobby definitely boosts the quality of life. You have fun, and you enjoy that activity. For example, if you like watching movies, you enjoy movies and have fun, and it also kills time. Wasting time doing nothing or things that you don't really like definitely doesn't make you feel good nor happy. Doing things you like, however, definitely makes you happy and you don't feel like you've wasted your time doing it.
You can buy happiness. I believe not becoming crazy about money, but just buying or collecting things you like can boost your happiness. Spending money on things you don't even care about, but just want to boast your richness is just luxury. Things that make you happy aren't. If you like collecting a series of game, books, or figures, buy them. If you like having a type or brand of something, buy them. Buying things you like and enjoy collecting will make you a happy little camper, or like a little kid buying a new toy. Some may say materials don't make you happy, but I think it brings happiness and fulfillment to the person.
If you got a good relationship with your family, have awesome friends, a hobby, and a decent amount of money, it's easy to say that you are happy. You have a happy life. You definitely are enjoying your life, and I'm pretty sure you won't regret any bit of it. I aim to have all of these as well, and I'm still working on it to become happier and happier every day.