Freedom of happiness
Happiness is what everybody thrives for. Happiness is such a basic part of life that people ignore. One of the most natural human behavior is to do whatever he or she wants, and that provides happiness. Without doing what a person wants that person can never be happy. In today's world many people are unhappy because they cannot do what they want. This could be a student who is thwarted by his or her parent from following his or her dream, or an inmate whose daily actions are commanded by the guards. The phrase "do whatever he or she wants," can be simplified to freedom. A human has to have freedom to be happy.
The most basic freedom is the freedom to live. Over the years there were countless times when mankind has been treated in such a way that living is the most burdensome task. No living person now can answer for these people but it is undeniable that when slaves from Africa were imported to the West they were not happy. The most basic things humans do that is necessary of life such as drinking water, eating food, having sex, and taking rest were not allowed at their will. Freedom was not present, therefore happiness was not present.
Happiness is achieved when people realize they are not free. Many people do not like their work or life because there is an invisible boundary that keeps them caged in their world and does not permit freedom. Millions of people go on their daily lives in pursuit of happiness while forgetting what happiness is. Their lives revolves around certain ideas; not originally thought of by themselves but passed on to them like a contagious disease. Such ideas are like happiness is achieved if you have a good job, or happiness is achieved if when you do drugs. Humans are caged in such ideas and they lock themselves up in pursuit of a concept that might not fit them. For humans to be happy they need over throw an idea that has been smudged on to them and free themselves from the definition of happiness.
People misunderstand what happiness is. It is easy to agree many people today try to accumulate great wealth to be happy. The media today portray what happiness is by showing the lives of rich people living a luxurious life, spending on extravagant things, without working like the blue collared class. However what humans really want is freedom, freedom to be financially free without having to worry about money. Maybe if humans can truly define what happiness is they might be happier.
Happiness comes from the fundamental factor of life, to roam like the animals in the great plains of Africa where humanity is told to have begun. To roam freely, to live freely is where happiness lies. Humans need to redefine what happiness is and live truly freely according to that to be happy.
From Daewon Shin To Bak Taehwan
ReplyDelete1. Yes, you simply stated cause of happiness in the last sentence of the introduction. " A human has to have freedom to be happy." says people should be free-casue, to be happy- effect.
2. Yes, each body paragraph have a topic sentence and each of them are clear and specific enough to get what they are trying to say. But for me, the third body paragraph looks rather a conclusion than a body paragraph.
3. Yes, they are. You are saying that people should be happy and redefine what happiness is to be happy through your essay overall. But what if they are people whose luxurious life could be a part of happiness and they insist it is their freedom to find happy through money. I can see what your point is, but some part of your essay might be contradictory.
4. I guess you rarely used connectors themselves in your essay. It might have been clearer if you used some connectors like as a result, or consequently.
5. Yes, you restated the cause in the conclusion. However, you didn't mention about defining what happiness is in the introduction, but in the conclusion. The sudden appearance of defining thing might weaken your main point, i think.
6. The conclusion reflect your idea that what kind of ways to live can be followed by happiness.
Thank you.
Hello My name is Hana Choi and I'm writing a comment on your essay.
ReplyDelete1. Does the introduction include a general thesis about the causes and effect? Underline this statement.
Yes. - A human has to have freedom to be happy.
2. Does each body paragraph contain a topic sentence that defines a specific cause?
body paragraph 1: The most basic freedom is the freedom to live.
(But it might have been better if you put 'happy' or the words related to that in the topic sentence)
body paragraph 2: For humans to be happy they need over throw an idea that has been smudged on to them and free themselves from the definition of happiness.
body paragraph 3: Maybe if humans can truly define what happiness is they might be happier. (Actually I am not sure if you tend to insist 'the importance of happiness' or have any other point in the paragraph. But I guess you wanted to emphasize this one. I suggest you change this paragraph more clear.)
3. Are the causes explained in a logical way? Yes. I understand you say 'freedom' is the cause of happiness you think. However, I had difficulty getting what you wanted to express in the body paragraph 3 because you did not mention about 'misunderstanding of freedom' in the introduction.
4. Does the writer use connectors to show cause and effect? You used 'Because, to'. I think more connectors could be contained.
5. Does the conclusion restate the causes? Yes. - Humans need to redefine what happiness is and live truly freely according to that to be happy.
6. Is there an evaluation or a reflection in the conclusion? Write it here.
The last sentence shows your reflection that the meaning of freedom to be happy needs to be reconsidered and freedom is such an crucial factor for a happy life.
Freedom Hope Love
ReplyDeleteHappiness does not exist in one form. Happiness varies from people to people, one man’s happiness it another man’s misery. For example living a celebrity life for one person could be the cause of happiness, however for another a celebrity life with all the attention and unnecessary luxury could be stressful. No matter what causes happiness and what does not there are universal factors that contribute to achieving happiness. These factors are freedom, hope, and love.
Freedom is an underestimated cause of happiness and it is something that is taken for granted. Today many people are shackled to an idea which refrains him or her to be happy. For example: Many students nowadays cannot follow their dreams, this can be caused by financial obstacles, or simply because people around them do not approve. The the freedom to do something to students may cause them to be unhappy. Another example is: financial freedom. This maybe one of the biggest causes of happiness. Having the adequate resources to live life the way a person desires to contributes hugely to their happiness. Everybody living among other humans needs resources not to fall victim to the rat race. The amount of money that someone has to have for him or her to be happy may alter, however as long as that standard is met he or she will be happy.
The second factor is hope. Hope is a very powerful emotion that without it happiness will exist in anyone's life. In the Second World War a normal day for a soldier would be running from trench to trench directly into death while dodging the limbs of other men. According to the survivors of the war it was hope that gave them the willingness to live a happy life after the war. Just like fantasizing about something happy like going for a vacation, that by its self makes someone happy. No matter how happy a person is not unless there is hope for continued happiness or more happiness that person will be unhappy.
Lastly someone needs some love to be happy. Human being by nature are social animals. No matter how a person likes to be isolated once in a while they need to meet other people. Out of the people they meet someone has to love them, however love does not have to be romantic love it could be friendship or father son love. In the poorest places on earth parents are happy to have children that they love. Both giving and receiving love may result in happiness.
The causes of happiness may be differ for people to people but the universal factor that contribute to happiness is freedom, hope and love. Happiness is something hard to find but a bit of effort and a different perspective may result to happiness.