201103628
Hana Choi
Three Secrets to Be Happy
Someone said the life is C (Choice) between B (Birth) and D (Death). Like he said we make decisions every day and the reason why we try to take the best option among we have got is our ‘happiness’. But sometimes we make mistakes and be miserable. If you consider the next three things before you make decisions, happiness will always be followed because these are the causes of happiness I think: Doing what ‘you’ want, strengthening family’s relationships and being healthy.
It is said the gifted never win people who enjoy what they do at the end. It means doing what you love not following others blindly is the main point to live happily. Because if you have what you like to do as a job, it brings both goods including money and great relationships with people who share the same interests with you that you do not need to be stressed out thinking how to make friends and earn a lot of money. Also the job itself might be happiness for you. So eventually you become happy by doing what you like. This is the same when you have a habit or do other activities which you like. Then some people might say tangible things like money or a big house are the most important factor to live happily. However if those kinds of things are gotten by doing what people do not really want to do, what they feel is not happiness but just a temporary feeling of achievement and even though it is happiness it must not stay that long.
Strong family’s relationship is such great power which contributes to our happiness. From the past family is seen as a basic form of a community and it is the center of every society. So if you have a good relationship with your family members it helps you not to worry about problems among your family so it let you just focus on your own work at a workplace. Also only the truth that family who support whatever you do exists there makes you mentally powerful. And when you get home being with family even reduces stress you get outside so you must feel so relieved and can rely on family and at the end it brings you happiness.
It always cannot be said too often that to keep working out and moving your body to be fit is the most important factor for happy lives. I remember when I had a pain even in one finger it bothered me so much for a while. If you lose your health you cannot take care of any other things and eventually it has effects on two causes above so general happiness will be gone. So the other causes cannot be worked well without strong bodies.
The reasons of happiness I mentioned above ‘Doing things you are interested in, building positive relationships with your family, and maintaining health’ look so simple and easy to think of. However those cannot be sustained without continuous self-reflection and considering relationships around you. Happiness might be temporary and hard to achieve but if people keep those three points in their mind I am sure they will live such happy lives and furthermore that positive power will affect others.
To Hana Choi from Xeniya Pak
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. So here are my comments.
1. Your thesis statement is really good and it shows what will be described in the next paragraphs. However it would be better if you remove this part “If you consider the next three things before you make decisions”.
2. Yes. I believe that your topic sentences define specific causes which are also provided with details.
3. Yes you have provided logical explanations about effects of happiness.
4. Yes. In the first body paragraph you have described that love and support of family causes happiness. In the second, you have described that family relationship contributes to happiness. And in the third, that health is important factor to live happy.
5. I think no. in the introduction you have written that those three factors make us happy. So it would be better if you could rewrite your thesis in other words.
6. Evaluation. Happiness might be temporary and hard to achieve but if people keep those three points in their mind I am sure they will live such happy lives and furthermore that positive power will affect others.
201103628
ReplyDeleteHana Choi
Three Secrets to Be Happy
Someone said the life is C (Choice) between B (Birth) and D (Death). Like he said we make decisions every moment we face something and why we try to take the best option among we have got is to pursue our own ‘happiness’. But sometimes we make wrong decisions and become miserable. If you consider the next three things before you make decisions, you will bring you happiness. Because these are the causes of happiness I think: Doing what ‘you’ want, strengthening family’s relationships and being healthy.
It is said the gifted never win people who enjoy what they do at the end. It means doing what you love not following others blindly is the main point to live happily. Because if you have a job which you like to do, it brings both goods including money and great relationships with people who share the same interests with you. It means you do not need to be stressed out thinking how to make friends and earn money. Also the job itself might be a great happiness for you. So eventually you become happy by doing what you like. Then some people might say tangible things like money or a big house are the most important factor to live happily. However if you buy them spending money you earned by doing tasks which annoy you, you might feel fulfilled temporarily but that must not stay long. So I am sure that doing what you want is the real source of your long-term happiness.
Strong family’s relationship is such great power which contributes to our happiness. I have seen some friends who could not concentrate on their study worrying about their family problems. But if you are in a good relationship with your family members it helps you not to worry about problems among your family. So you can just focus on your job at school or your workplace to get better results. In addition, if you have a good family relationship you can reduces stress from your school or work by talking with them and relying on your family. That is because only the existence of family who support you whatever you do makes you mentally powerful. In conclusion you must feel so relieved being with your family and it brings you happiness.
It always cannot be said too often that to keep working out and move your body are the most important factors for happy lives. I remember when I had a pain even in my one finger it bothered me so much for a while. And there are so many people who suffer from serious disease and it is impossible them to do what they want. It also makes not only people themselves unhappy but also their family or their friends feel depressing. So if you lose your health you cannot take care of any other things and the two causes I mentioned above cannot even done. So it is necessary to keep fit and have physically strong body.
The reasons of happiness I mentioned above ‘Doing things you are interested in, building positive relationships with your family, and maintaining health’ seem so simple and easy to think of. However those cannot be sustained without continuous self-reflection and consideration of relationships around you. Happiness might be temporary and hard to achieve but if people keep those three points in their mind I am sure they will live such happy lives and furthermore that positive power will affect others.
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ReplyDelete201103628 Hana Choi
ReplyDeleteFinal Draft
Three Secrets for Happiness
Someone said the life is C (Choice) between B (Birth) and D (Death). Like he said we make decisions every moment in our lives. The reason we try hard to take the best option among we have got is to pursue our personal ‘happiness’. But sometimes we make wrong decisions and become miserable. But if you consider the next three things before your decisions, they will bring you happiness. Because these are the causes of happiness: Doing what ‘you’ want, strengthening family’s relationships and being healthy.
It is said gifted people never win people who enjoy what they do. It means doing what you love without following others blindly is the main point to live happily. It will both bring you success and happiness. I have a neighbor who is a medical doctor. Her father did not let her study hard and even hit her because he thought girls do not need to be smart to get a profession. Because back then in Korea, it was a common knowledge that women’s job was taking care of their family and being perfect housewives. But she studied really hard to make her dreams come true. Like at night, she studied underneath a blanket lightening her book with a small flashlight to hide she was studying. Despite her father’s opposition, she succeeded to enter medical school and be a respectful doctor. Like her there are lots of people who became achieved their goals and became happy by following their mind. It might seem hard to achieve your dreams which you are not good at. But if you stick to works which you like to do, even though there are a few obstacles along the way you go, it will bring your happiness at the end. Therefore, I suggest that you set your goals and try hard to make it. Then some people might say tangible things like a big house, nice shiny cars or fancy clothes are the most important factors to live happily. However if you buy them with money you earned by doing tasks annoy you, you might feel fulfilled temporarily but that probably will not stay long. Moreover, if you become successful in your field, you will naturally earn lots of money. So I am sure that doing what you love is one of the reasons guarantee your long-term happiness.
There is no doubt that strong family relationship is such a great power which contributes to our happiness. Family is a basic part of our society. So depending on somebody’s family relationship, that person can be happy or not. For example, books like King Lear and almost all of Korean TV shows talk about how people can be so extreme when they have family’s conflicts. This is not just the matter of virtual world. I actually have seen some friends who could not concentrate on their study worrying about their family problems. I also remember that I was feeling very nervous all day long when I had an argument with my parents. But if you are in a good relationship with your family members you do not need to be stressed out thinking about problems among your family. You can just focus on your job at school or your workplace and get better results. In addition, good family relationships not only make you feel happy but reduce stress you get from your school or work. You can talk about your worries with your family and rely on them. In this case, just knowing that there is your family who supports you whatever you do gives you a great power. You will feel so relieved being with your family that it will bring you happiness. So healthy family relationship is a very important factor of being happy.
It always cannot be said too much that to keep working out and move your body are the most essential things for happy lives. When I only cut my one finger it bothered me so much for a while. I couldn’t use that finger freely and had difficulty picking up a pen. So imagine you have a serious disease. It is almost impossible to do what you want. We see so many people who suffer from serious disease like cancer or Alzheimer’s disease. They are not able to do what they want until they are recovered from the diseases. The thing is it makes not only people who are in hospital unhappy but also their family or their friends feel depressed. I heard a story of a guy who used to be an ordinary office worker and became a beggar. He saved enough amount money which could support his family. Then he suddenly got a disease and spent all of his money on the cure. After that happened his family left him and unfortunately he had no choice but to panhandle at the Seoul station. So if you lose your health you cannot take care of any other things and the two causes I mentioned above cannot even be tried. So it is necessary to keep fit and have physically strong body.
ReplyDeleteThe reasons of happiness I mentioned above - Doing things you are interested in, building positive relationships with your family, and maintaining health - seem so simple and easy to think of. However those cannot be sustained without continuous self-reflection and consideration of relationships around you. Happiness might be temporary and hard to achieve but if people keep those three points in their mind I am sure they will live happy lives and furthermore, that positive power will affect others.