| 201101524 Park Hyun-ju Three causes of happiness
Everyone looks for happiness in life. However, people's definitions of happiness differ from one person to another. There are lots of factors that bring happiness to our lives. For me, the three most important causes of happiness are money, good health and love.
The first factor of happiness is money. While some people say that money can't buy happiness, I believe a good financial status makes people happy. In a capitalist society, money means freedom. Money enables us to buy whatever we like so it plays a significant role in deciding how happy we are. Without a decent amount of money, we would have to worry about our tuition and mortgage and we will never be able to be completely happy.
Next, good health is also a decisive factor of happiness. We have to be healthy to be truly happy. Strong immune systems and younger hearts help us to live everyday to the fullest and have energetic lifestyle. On the other hand, health problems from mild cold to life threatening diseases disrupt our ability to function normally in our lives. Therefore, we have to look after our health to be happy.
Last but not least, love brings happiness to our lives. Love gives our lives meaning. We feel love in good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships. Love for others gives us energy and satisfaction. It is also important to love your own life and love yourself, which is the highest level of happiness.
To sum up, I believe money, good health and love are the three most important factors that bring happiness to our lives. However, we should always remember there are a lot of other factors that could make us happy. Even if we miss one or two factors, we can always find happiness in other parts of our lives. We should try our best to become happy with what we have. |
Friday, April 4, 2014
Park Hyun-ju/causes of happiness/Tue 11 a.m. class
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To Park Hyun Ju from Jung Yong Ko.
ReplyDelete1. Yes the introduction includes a general thesis statement : For me, the three most important causes of happiness are money, good health and love
2. yes in the first sentence on each body paragraph. : 1). The first factor of happiness is money. While some people say that money can't buy happiness 2) Next, good health is also a decisive factor of happiness 3) Last but not least, love brings happiness to our lives
3. The causes are explained logically. Enough detail information. It was so detail that it made me imagine.
4. There are few connectors : Next, while, on the other hand, the first.
5. restates the causes in the conclusion: To sum up, I believe money, good health and love are the three most important factors that bring happiness to our lives
6. Reflection : We should try our best to become happy with what we have.
not much connectors- use more. Introduction- too short.
Good work!
Three causes of happiness - second draft
ReplyDelete201101524 Park Hyun-ju
Everyone looks for happiness in life. However, people's definitions of happiness differ from one person to another. There are lots of factors that bring happiness to our lives. For me, the three most important causes of happiness are money, good health and love.
The first factor of happiness is money. While some people say that money can't buy happiness, I believe a good financial status makes people happy. In a capitalist society, money means freedom. Money enables us to buy whatever we like so it plays a significant role in deciding how happy we are. Without a decent amount of money, we would have to worry about our tuition and mortgage and we will never be able to be completely happy.
Next, good health is also a decisive factor of happiness. We have to be healthy to be truly happy. Strong immune systems and younger hearts help us to live everyday to the fullest and have energetic lifestyle. On the other hand, health problems from mild cold to life threatening diseases disrupt our ability to function normally in our lives. Therefore, we have to look after our health to be happy.
Last but not least, love brings happiness to our lives. Love gives our lives meaning. We feel love in good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships. Love for others gives us energy and satisfaction. It is also important to love your own life and love yourself, which is the highest level of happiness.
To sum up, I believe money, good health and love are the three most important factors that bring happiness to our lives. However, we should always remember there are a lot of other factors that could make us happy. Even if we miss one or two factors, we can always find happiness in other parts of our lives. We should try our best to become happy with what we have.