| 201302156 So-eun Yoon Homework no.3 What Makes Us Happy
When asked about the causes of happiness, people have a hard time giving a definite answer. This is because we rarely sit down to think about what makes us happy. We unconsciously laugh a few times every day, but we are clueless as to why we laughed so hard. I think there are two indispensable things in life which are essential to making us happy. One is being in a relationship of mutual respect and love. The other is learning to love yourself.
When we count how many times we laugh in a day, 95 percent of them are caused by others, or more specifically, they are caused by the people you love. Joy is doubled and sadness is halved when they are shared by the people you love. Even the most delicious food does not taste so great when you have no one to share it with. This is why on Thanksgiving or on Christmas, all families, including the ones living on the other side of the country, gather to make happy memories. My dad used to always compare our family to a car with four wheels. Even a single flat tire can stop the whole car, meaning that even one member going through hardships can put the entire family in great pain. As such, our relationships can wound us sometimes, but being in loving relationships offers us something of much greater value in life.
Another essential part of our lives is to love the person we are. Many people undermine their worth by comparing themselves with others. However, it is crucial that you do not compare yourself with others or try to live up to others' expectations because everyone is born with a different talent and personality. It is natural that you excel at some things, while at the same time, lacking some other skills. Even those who appear completely flawless may be slow at learning some things that you find very easy. Feeling confident about yourself is essential to leading a happy life; that way you will not feel the need to compare yourself to anybody else because you have already accepted yourself for who you are.
They say to love and to be loved is the greatest happiness in life. I cannot agree more with this old saying. There are times when you just want to give up everything and feel hopeless. However, what we must remember in life is that being around those you love and accepting yourself just the way you are brings out the greatest happiness in your life. |
Saturday, April 5, 2014
So-eun Yoon/ assignment no3/ tuesday 34
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From Naeun Kang to So-eun Yoon
ReplyDelete1. Does the introduction include a general thesis about the causes and effect?
Yes. It has; relationship of mutual respect and love, learning to love yourself.
2. Does each body paragraph contain a topic sentence that defines specific cause?
Yes it has. In the first body paragraph, “As such, our relationships can wound us sometimes, but being in loving relationships offers us something of much greater value in life.” seems to be the topic sentence. Also, in the 2nd body paragraph, “Another essential part of our lives is to love the person we are.” looks the topic sentence. Each topic sentence shows well what the writer’s going to explain.
3. Are the causes explained in a logical way?
Yes, they are. You mentioned two causes of happiness, and they were explained one by one in detail. Also, you explained why it is the cause of happiness, giving some examples, and wrote how we should do to have happiness.
4. Does the writer use connectors to show cause and effect?
Yes, but not that much. I can only find a few connectors; This is why, As such.
5. Does the conclusion restate the causes?
Yes. “However, what we must remember in life is that being around those you love and accepting yourself just the way you are brings out the greatest happiness in your life.” This sentence restates the causes of happiness.
6. Is there an evaluation or a reflection in the conclusion?
I was very interested in what you wrote as causes of Happiness because I also good relationship is the cause of Happiness. Above all, you gave enough examples for me to understand well and to agree with you. Though your essay was easy to follow, if you use more connectors which show effect, it would be better. I’m glad to read your essay. Thanks!
From: Seon Hyuk Im
ReplyDeleteHey man, I liked your essay.
My favorite line of your essay "Joy is doubled and sadness is halved when they are shared by the people you love." So. True.
1. Yes,
Thesis: I think there are two indispensable things in life which are essential to making us happy. One is being in a relationship of mutual respect and love. The other is learning to love yourself.
2. Every topic setence defines a specific cause.
3. Yes, they are very logical and explained clearly. It's easy to relate to them.
4. She only used a couple of "this is why", "as such".
5. Yes it does.
6. She claims she cannot agree more with this fact.
Second draft
ReplyDelete201302156
So-eun Yoon
What Makes Us Happy
When asked about the causes of happiness, people have a hard time giving a definite answer. This is because we rarely sit down to think about what makes us happy. We unconsciously laugh a few times every day, but we are clueless as to why we laughed so hard. I think there are two indispensable things in life which are essential to making us happy. One is being in a relationship of mutual respect and love. The other is learning to love yourself.
When we count how many times we laugh in a day, 95 percent of them are caused by others, or more specifically, they are caused by the people we love. Joy is doubled and sadness is halved when they are shared by the people you love. Even the most delicious food does not taste so great when you have no one to share it with. This is why on Thanksgiving or on Christmas, all families, including the ones living on the other side of the country, gather to make happy memories. My dad used to always compare our family to a car with four wheels. Even a single flat tire can stop the whole car, meaning that even one member going through hardships can put the entire family in great pain. As such, our relationships can wound us sometimes, but being in loving relationships offers us something of much greater value in life.
Another essential part of our lives is to love the person we are. Many people undermine their worth by comparing themselves with others. However, it is crucial that you do not compare yourself with others or try to live up to others’ expectations because everyone is born with a different talent and personality. It is natural that you excel at some things, while at the same time, lacking some other skills. Even those who appear completely flawless may be slow at learning some things that you find very easy. Feeling confident about yourself is essential to leading a happy life; that way you will not feel the need to compare yourself to anybody else because you have already accepted yourself for who you are.
ReplyDeleteThey say to love and to be loved is the greatest happiness in life. I cannot agree more with this old saying. There are times when you just want to give up everything and feel hopeless. However, what we must remember in life is that being around those you love and accepting yourself just the way you are brings out the greatest happiness in your life.