< The road to happiness >
Chaelim Lee
We all live in hard time. Economic depressions are every where, people get angry very easily with the little things. However, in time like this, we all deserve a happy life. In order to do that, I think we need to take a step back and think what should we do to make our life happy and satisfying. In my opinion, happiness comes from loving oneself, satisfying with the smallest things, and expecting nothing.
The most important thing to feel happy is loving myself. If you don’t accept who you are, you can’t be happy. In other words, if you try to change all the things that can’t be changed, you’ll feel desperate and frustrated. If your natural character or personality is what you want to change, you better give up because those things are that can never be changed. Whether you are out-going or introverted person, pretty or not pretty, you are perfect already. There’s no need to feel shamed for what you’re born with.
Next thing is about satisfiying with the little things in your life. It may sound boring, but it’s true. If you appreciate only the big success or accomplishment such as employment or promotion, everything else will never make you happy. However, you can make your life much happier and richer when you feel happy with a stranger holding the door for you, or sincere friends who always there for you. Don’t take it for granted. Think of it as a gift for you.
Finally, expect nothing is one way to feel happy. If you expect some advantages for doing something and don’t get what you want, you probably feel miserable. But if you get rid of your expectancy and try to give your best regardless of the outcome, you can feel happy with the smallest payoff.
If you change your way of thinking just a little bit, you can make your life happy and satisfying. I know it won’t be easy in a world of competition like where we are. But accept and love yourself is a great way of respecting yourself and happiness, as well as appreciating little things and expecting nothing. Remember, the road to happiness depends on you, not someone else. No one can do that for you. So, why don’t you start pave your way to happiness right now?
TO. Chaelim Lee From. So-eun Yoon
ReplyDeleteHello, Chaelim!
It was nice to read about your causes of happiness.
I could really emphasize with alot of your causes.
So here are my feedbacks.
1. Yes, your introduction includes a general thesis about the causes and effects of happiness.
"In my opinion, happiness comes from loving oneself, satisfying with the smallest things, and expecting nothing."
2. Yes, each of your body paragraphs includes a topic sentence that defines a specific cause.
3. Your causes are explained more by appealing to the readers' emotions, rather than in by using logic. However, I found your essay pretty persuasive, so I don't think that this kind of an essay necessarily needs logical explanations.
4. No, you have not used connectors to show cause and effect. However, I could still understand the causes and effects of your essay, so I did not find using connectors necessary.
5. Yes, your conclusion restates the three causes that you have mentioned in your body paragraphs.
"But accept and love yourself is a great way of respecting yourself and happiness, as well as appreciating little things and expecting nothing."
6. You have included a reflection.
" Remember, the road to happiness depends on you, not someone else. No one can do that for you. So, why don’t you start pave your way to happiness right now? "
Hi! I enjoyed reading your essay~
ReplyDelete1. The introduction includes a general thesis about the causes and effect. Becoming happy is the effect and the three causes are loving yourself, being satisfied with the smallest things, and not expecting anything in return.
"In my opinion, happiness comes from loving oneself, satisfying with the smallest things, and expecting nothing."
2. Each paragraph contains a topic sentence that defines a specific cause. The first paragraph talks about loving yourself, the next paragraph deals with being satisfied with little things, and the final body paragraph states the importance of doing good things without expecting something in return.
3. The causes were explained in a logical way. There were enough supporting details to explain the topic sentences in each paragraphs. They were convincing and easy to understand.
4. Connectors weren't used to show cause and effect. However, the readers can tell that the "effect" is becoming happy and that the "causes" are the three factors explained in the body paragraphs. I think this essay would be more effective than it is now if you add some connectors. By doing so it would be easier for the readers to follow because they would be able to identify the causes faster.
5. The conclusion restates the thesis.
"But accept and love yourself is a great way of respecting yourself and happiness, as well as appreciating little things and expecting nothing."
6. The essay ends with a question. It urges the readers to take action.
"So, why don’t you start pave your way to happiness right now?"
-The road to happiness-
ReplyDelete(Second Draft)
We all live in hard times. Economic depressions are everywhere, people get angry very easily with the little things. However, in times like this, we all deserve a happy life. In order to do that, I think we need to take a step back and think what should we do to make our life happy and satisfying. In my opinion, happiness comes from loving oneself, satisfying with the smallest things, and expecting nothing.
The most important thing to feel happy is loving myself. If you don’t accept who you are, you can’t be happy. In other words, if you try to change all the things that can’t be changed, you’ll feel desperate and frustrated. Whether you are an out-going or introverted person, pretty or not pretty, you are perfect already. It’s important to accept your character. It’s not a flaw that has to be fixed. There’s no need to feel ashamed for what you’re born with.
The next thing is about satisfying with the little things in your life. It may sound boring, but it’s true. If you appreciate only the big success or accomplishment such as employment or promotion, everything else will never make you happy. However, you can make your life much happier and richer when you feel happy with a stranger holding the door for you, or sincere friends who always there for you. Don’t take it for granted. Think of it as a gift for you.
Finally, expect nothing is one way to feel happy. If you expect some advantages for doing something and don’t get what you want, you probably feel miserable. Lower your thresholds of happy. But if you get rid of your expectancy and try to give your best regardless of the outcome, you can feel happy with the smallest payoff.
If you change your way of thinking just a little bit, you can make your life happy and satisfying. I know it won’t be easy in a world of competition like where we are. But accept and love yourself is a great way of respecting yourself and happiness, as well as appreciating the little things and expecting nothing. Remember, the road to happiness depends on you, not someone else. No one can do that for you. So, why don’t you start pave your way to happiness right now?
Here's my final draft!
ReplyDeleteHow to be on cloud nine
It’s hard to feel satisfied these days since we all live in hard times. Economic depressions are everywhere, people get angry very easily with the little things. However, in times like this, we all deserve a happy life. In order to do that, I think we need to take a step back and think what should we do to make our life happy and satisfying. In my opinion, happiness comes from loving oneself, satisfying with the smallest things, and expecting nothing.
The most important thing to feel happy is loving myself. If you don’t accept who you are, you can’t be happy. In other words, if you try to change some aspects that you don’t like and fail to change that, you’ll feel desperate and frustrated. I always didn’t like my appearance. When I look at the mirror, I feel stressed because there’s so many things I want to change. However, I can calm my mind and find peace once I accept my look and embrace it. I know I’m not that beautiful like a actress in the movies, but I think I have a distinct charming point they don’t have. Once I changed my mind like this, i can be relaxed and satisfied with myself. No one is perfect. So try to embrace your flaws as another positive aspect of yourself.
The next thing is about satisfying with the little things in your life. It may sound boring, but it’s true. If you appreciate only the big success or accomplishment such as employment or promotion, everything else will never make you happy. However, you can make your life much happier and richer when you feel happy with a stranger holding the door for you, or sincere friends who always there for you. I always try to think small things that made me happy before I go to bed. In can be my favorite food I’ve eaten that day, or chatting with my friends. Don’t take it for granted. Think of it as a gift for you.
Finally, expect nothing is one way to feel happy. If you expect some advantages for doing something and don’t get what you want, you probably feel miserable. Lower your thresholds of happy. If you get rid of your expectancy and try to give your best regardless of the outcome, you can feel happy with the smallest payoff.
If you change your way of thinking just a little bit, you can make your life happy and satisfying. I know it won’t be easy in a world of competition like where we are. But accept and love yourself is a great way of respecting yourself and happiness, as well as appreciating the little things and expecting nothing. Remember, the road to happiness depends on you, not someone else. No one can do that for you. So, why don’t you start pave your way to happiness right now?