Things needed to be happy
It seems more difficult to be happy as our society grows, especially in Korea. Many people are suffering from stress, health problems, and many other negative effects from busy life style; they have lost their relaxed life. Not only this kind of life cause physical problems, but also emotional weakness which both make you unhappy. Then, how could we be happy in this busy society? I approached to an answer to it in my own way after deep thinking of them. That answer was more about metaphysics and mental things than physical and realistic things.
Of course, people can’t always be happy, but you at least try to think you are happy. Even though you are not actually happy, if you keep thinking you are so, you can be happy. It is a kind of self-hypnosis or placebo effect that makes you delude yourself that you are happy. It sounds like quackery, but the effect of hypnosis and placebo has already scientifically proved. So if you do not complain about your given situations and about now how and what you are, but just change your mind in a positive way, such as thinking you are happy, happiness follows you.
Next thing you need to do be happy is to thank for having family, friends, lover, or whatever you have, and love them all. When you feel you love someone or are loved by someone, or get satisfied with your situation, some hormones called didorphin, endorphin, dopamine, and etc., which all makes you feel happier as well as healthier. You can be satisfied by thanking for everything you have got, and not comparing yourself with someone who you are jealous of and envy; and you can feel love when you truly love someone.
Finally, helping people who live financially, or emotionally worse than you also helps you be happy. It could be a sort of the way to love others I said above. When you help them, you see how they live and suffer, and start comparing with you; as a result, you do a self-reflection on what you complain about, and how you are happy now. If helping them regularly, you could be actually a warmer person and you can get satisfied by their improved lives partially because of you, which consequently make you better person to yourself and to others. It also make some people live better and it results in better society. You become happy, and everything goes well; it is absolutely virtuous circle.
Every key to happy I found does not take you much time to realize because they are rather metaphysical concepts. It, however, first could be very difficult to change your mind in a short period of time because it is the way you have thought and you cannot see and feel if it actually changes. It does not take money to change your way to think and try to be happy with the keys I offered. If it does not take time so that you can do it even in this busy society, and money so that you afford to it, but some effort on it; and what you will get from that effort is not exchangeable with anything in your life, why don't you try? Keep trying, and be happy.
From Naeun Kang to Daewon Shin
ReplyDelete1. Does the introduction include a general thesis about the causes and effect?
Yes, but it is not specific. “That answer was more about metaphysics and mental things than physical and realistic things.” This sentence seems to the thesis statement, but it is not in detail.
2. Does each body paragraph contain a topic sentence that defines specific cause?
Yes, it does. In the first body paragraph, “Of course, people can’t always be happy, but you at least try to think you are happy.” seems to the topic sentence. In the 2nd body paragraph, “Next thing you need to do be happy is to thank for having family, friends, lover, or whatever you have, and love them all.” looks the topic sentence. Also, in the 3rd paragraph, there is a topic sentence, “Finally, helping people who live financially, or emotionally worse than you also helps you be happy.” All the topic sentences show what you’re going to write in each paragraph.
3. Are the causes explained in a logical way?
Yes, they are. You mentioned 3 causes in each paragraph one by one, and explained why it could be the cause of happiness. Also, you suggested what we should do for Happiness.
4. Does the writer use connectors to show cause and effect?
Yes it does. I can find “so”, “as a result”, “consequently”, “result in”
5. Does the conclusion restate the causes?
I don’t think so. In the last paragraph, you gave some advice. However I can find the restatements that summarize the topics in each body paragraph.
6. Is there an evaluation or a reflection in the conclusion?
What you wrote as the causes of happiness is great though it would be hard for me to do what you advice. Above all, you wrote in a logical way and explained causes and the effects as well in detail, so it was easy to follow. The use of connectors was good too! Wish your happiness!
2nd draft
ReplyDeleteIt seems more difficult to be happy as our society develops, especially in Korea. Many people are suffering from stress, health problems, and many other negative effects from their busy life styles; they have lost their relaxed lives. Not only this kind of life causes physical problems, but also emotional weaknesses which both make you unhappy. Then, how could we be happy in this busy society? I approached to an answer to it in my own way after deep thinking about it. The answer was more about metaphysics and mental stuff than physical and realistic stuff: Trying to think being happy, thanking for everything, and helping others.
Of course, people can’t always be happy, but you at least try to think you are happy. Even though you are not actually happy, if you keep thinking you are so, you can be happy. It is a kind of self-hypnosis or placebo effect that makes you delude yourself that you are happy. It sounds like quackery, but the effect of hypnosis and placebo has already scientifically proved. So if you do not complain about your given situations and about how and what you are now, and just change your mind in a positive way, happiness automatically follows you.
Next thing you need to do to be happy is to thank for having family, friends, lover, or whatever you have, and love them all. When you feel you love someone or are loved by someone, or get satisfied with your situation, some hormones called didorphin, endorphin, dopamine, and etc., which all make you feel happier as well as healthier, are secreted. You can be satisfied by thanking for everything you have got, and not comparing yourself with someone who you are jealous of and envy; and you can feel real love when you truly love someone.
Finally, helping people financially, or emotionally worse than you also helps you be happy. It could be a sort of the way to love others I mentioned above. When you help them, you see how they live and suffer, and start comparing with you; as a result, you do a self-reflection on what you complain about, and how you are happy now. If helping them regularly, you could be actually a warmer person and you can get satisfied by their improved lives partially because of you, which consequently make you better person to yourself and to others. It also make some people live better and it results in better society. You become happy, and everything goes well; it is absolutely a virtuous circle.
Every key to happy I found does not take you much time to realize because they are rather metaphysical concepts. It, however, first could be very difficult to change your mind in a short period of time because it is the way you have thought for your entire life weather it was short or not, and you cannot see and feel if it actually changes. It does not take money to change your way to think and try to be happy with the keys I offered; it does not take time so that you can achieve it even in this busy society, and money so that you can afford to it, but it needs some effort on it; and what you will get from that effort is not exchangeable with anything in your life, why don't you try? Keep trying, and be happy.
Final Draft-Daewon Shin
ReplyDeleteIt seems more difficult to be happy as our society develops, especially in Korea. Many people are suffering from stress, health problems, and many other negative effects from their busy life styles; they have lost their relaxed lives. Not only does this kind of life cause physical problems, but also it generates emotional weaknesses which both make you unhappy. Then, how could we be happy in this busy society? I approached to an answer to it in my own way after deep thinking about it. The answer was more about metaphysics and mental stuff than physical and realistic stuff: Trying to think being happy, thanking for everything, and helping others.
Of course, people can’t always be happy, but you can at least try to think you are happy. Even though you are not actually happy, if you keep thinking you are so, you can be happy. It is a
kind of self-hypnosis or placebo effect that makes you delude yourself that you are happy. It sounds like quackery, but the effect of hypnosis and placebo has already scientifically proved. If you do not complain about your given situations and about how and what you are now, and just change your mind in a positive way, happiness will automatically follow you.
Next thing you need to do to be happy is to thank for having family, friends, lover, or whatever you have, and love them all. When you feel you love someone or are loved by someone, or get satisfied with your situation, some hormones called didorphin, endorphin, dopamine, and others, which all make you feel happier as well as healthier, are secreted. You can be satisfied by thanking for everything you have got, and not comparing yourself with someone who you are jealous of and envy; and you can feel real love when you truly love someone.
Finally, helping people whose financial, or emotional situations are worse than yours also helps you be happy. It is a sort of the way to love others I mentioned above. When you help them, you see how they live and suffer, and start comparing with you; as a result, you do a self-reflection on what you complain about, and how you are happy now. If helping them regularly, you could be actually a warmer person and you can get satisfied by their improved lives partially because of you, which consequently make you better person to yourself and to others. It also helps some people live better and it results in better society. You become happy, and everything goes well; it is absolutely a virtuous circle.
Every key to happy I found does not take you much time to realize because they are rather metaphysical concepts. It, however, first could be very difficult to change your mind in a short period of time because it is the way you have thought for your entire life weather it was short or not, and you cannot see and feel if it actually changes. It does not take money to change your way to think and try to be happy with the keys I offered; it does not take time so that you can achieve it even in this busy society, and money so that you can afford to it, but it needs some effort on it. If what you will get from that effort is not exchangeable with anything else in your life, why don't you try? Keep trying, and be happy.